Not to blow smoke up my own ass, but I consider myself somewhat of an Art Basel Miami Beach (AKA Miami Art Week) expert. That's right. An expert. So heed my advice, friends. I offer you here, my picks for musical parties during this grand fair. Not all events have been announced and Miami New Times has a comprehensive list evolving
, so check back for updates there and here.
I missed the first year of Basel celebrations about 10 years ago, but I've really gone all in every December since. I've crashed the MOCA LA party annually, thank you very much. Once, maybe six years back before the economy tanked, they gave out boxes filled with Mac makeup which lasted me till like now. One year, Bradford Cox performed as Atlas Sound at a space hosted by that cyclist with one ball, Lance Armstrong, and the singer told me: "I don't know you, but I like you!" And I got so embarrassed and flattered, I ran away.
I chatted with Beth Ditto and her girlfriend another year. Got free Converse designed by Matt and Kim. Sat at Devendra Banhart's feet as he played on the sand, watched Costes get blown onstage. The list does not end!
So, if you don't think driving down to Miami is worth the trek, you are so very wrong.
UR1 was postponed
, but don't think Kanye's gonna miss out on interrupting someone else's show in his new hometown. After popping up at Wood last weekend in Wynwood, I'm certain he's practicing snatching the mic from someone's
Again, I'm an expert, trust me. Here are my picks for musical events you must attend next week.
Wednesday, Dec. 5
If you've never seen designs by the magical Wildchild, you must go to Mansion tonight. This guy designs the most striking, dramatic masks and ensembles for drag queens and performance artists alike.
15. Rick Ross
The Teflon Don isn't gonna miss out on this chance to kick off a huge event like Basel in his hometown. And the Fillmore is just steps from the Bass Museum whose opening is (I'm pretty sure) the same night. It's also walking distance from the Art Basel vernissage that same day. There is no better nightcap than Rick Ross after gorging on a fine art dinner.
Rick Ross's Maybach Music Tour. With Meek Mill, Wale and Machine Gun Kelly. 8
p.m. Fillmore Miami Beach, 1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $82.50 plus fees via livenation.com. Call 305-673-7300 or visit fillmoremb.com.
14. No Name Dance Party at Villa 221
14. Gramps Soft Opening
Everyone needs a new bar in their life. Wynwood's newest addition is Gramps. Equipped with booths for boozing, an outdoor space for stargazing, and a sizable stage for live music, this will be your new southern sanctuary. On this, their opening night, there will be two parties. No Name will bring "haus, techno, and beyond" with DJs Lorraine Sangre, Schematic Records' Romulo del Castillo, and Gio Ardito. Miami Bike Scene and Grolsch will present a screening of Lucas Brunelle's Line of Sight.
Villa 221, 221 NE 17 Street.
Screening begins promptly at 9 p.m., free beer from 8 to 9 p.m., party all night, Gramps 176 NW 24 St., Wynwood. It's all free.
13. Dita Von Tesse
I know you're too cool for South Beach unless you're chugging fancy beers at the Abbey's Festivus party on Dec. 9
. We also know that Dita isn't like the "it" girl anymore, but man, it'd certainly be fun to get sloshed for free at some crazy party and then roll on over to watch this famous undresser get raw. Once I saw her in New York, like 1,000 years ago, and Vincent Gallo, Perry Farrell, and Marilyn Manson were there. Guaranteed there will be famous people in this audience.
Opium Den Show with Dita Von Teese. With DJs Ruen and Jessica Who. 11 p.m. LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $40 to $60 plus fees via wantickets.com. Call 305-674-4680 or visit livnightclub.com.
Thursday, Dec. 6
Addition 1: 12. Robb Bank$ and Metro Zu
We nominated Robb Bank$ as best rapper here at NT BPB last year, so we're excited to see the Broward-native performing at Electric Pickle during Art Basel. This party is 18 and older, so make sure to bring the little ones. This is South Florida hip-hop at its kookiest and most fun.
CSPG Basel BBQ, Robb Bank$, Metro Zu, O'Grime
, Shuttle Life, and Chalk, DJs Justin Miller and Benton. 18 and older, 7 p.m., Electric Pickle, 2826 North Miami Ave., Miami. Hosted by Once Removed, Spam, and Yo Superchief
A$AP is hosting with Adidas and HVW8 Gallery a fancy-pants art exhibition at the Garret. Read more here.
Fortune, presented by Adidas and HVW8 Gallery, hosted by A$AP Rocky. 8 p.m. to midnight, Thursday, December 6, the Garrett (above Grand Central) 697 North Miami Ave., Miami.
11. Scope and VH1
Scope is definitely my must-go pick for auxiliary art fairs next week. It's always fantastic. This year, they're doing something, though not sure what, with VH1 and will make VIP-ers dance with the live sounds of Basel veterans Metric
SCOPE Miami Official Party presented by VH1 with Metric. 7 p.m. SCOPE Pavilion, 110 NE 36th St., Miami. Invite only. Visit scope-art.com.
There's not much to say here. We wanna see Thurston Moore! And of course, honor the memory of Kurt Cobain with a little interpretive dance. Wut?! We hear the after-party features a DJ set by Devendra Banhart at the James Hotel, wherever that is.
KURT. World premiere of the short film Kurt (an abstract portrayal of the late Kurt Cobain), live version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video choreographed by Ryan Heffington, and live performance by Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth). 8 p.m. Gusman Center for the Performing Arts, 174 E Flagler St., Miami. Tickets cost $25 to $50 via gusmancenter.org. Call 305-372-0925 or visit gusmancenter.org.
No more Psychic TV, though Merchandise remains.
10. Psychic TV
P-Orridge doesn't fuck around when it comes to art. S-he is an evolving work his/herself. This former Throbbing Gristle frontman is bringing experimental multimedia madness to the Vagabond in celebration of ABMB. Dressing like your girlfriend/boyfriend is highly encouraged. RIP Lady Jaye.
and Psychic TV. The Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami. Tickets cost $10 plus fee via wantickets.com. Call 305-379-0508 or visit thevagabondmiami.com.
Friday, Dec. 7
Addition 1: Lil Daggers, Merchandise, Band in Heaven, Teepee
Free beer? Free Sailor Jerry's? Churchill's? Yes, please. From Tampa, Lake Worth, and Miami, these four bands warrant a drop-in for sure.
Lil Daggers, Merchandise, Band in Heaven, Teepee. 7 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. $5 entrance.
Addition 2: Peach Fuzz
Always the best party in Miami. Hip-hop at the Garret, this time with Fool's Gold. Don't miss it.
The Garret, 697 North Miami Ave., Miami.
This is the Jellyfish brother's second annual AB distraction. They're showcasing some of the most exciting (corny word alert!) young Miami and Broward acts, including the Cost, Las Tias, the Gun Hoes, Whoorish Boorish, Dyslexic Postcards, and classics like the king of noise Rat Bastard and the grimiest noisemaker of all Kenny Millions. Give your local artists some loving this Basel.
Jellyfish Brothers Headquarters near 20th Street and NW 1st Ave., Wynwood. 9 p.m. on Dec. 7 and 7 p.m. on Dec. 8. Free.
8. Daniel Johnston
If you think we'd miss Daniel Johnston performing at Grand Central, you'd be a crazy person, you know, like the man himself. Maybe Miami can learn something about staying weird from one of the most fascinating characters in modern music.
Hi, How Are You? With Daniel Johnston. 9 p.m. Grand Central, 697 N Miami Ave., Miami. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via ticketfly.com. Call 305-377-2277 or visit grandcentralmiami.com.
7. Solange Knowles, Jacques Renault, Neon Indian, etc.
So, this ain't really my thing, but it's a thing we think you should attend if it's your thing. Get it?
An Evening With Terrible Living. With Solange Knowles, Justin Miller, Jacques Renault, Neon Indian, Corin Roddick (Purity Ring), and Chris Taylor (Grizzly Bear). Bardot Miami, 3456 N Miami Ave., Miami. Tickets cost $22 plus fees via showclix.com. Call 305-576-55770 or visit bardotmiami.com.
6. Spin and Red Diamond Party: NQB8R
Expect a container with a recording studio, art exhibition curated by Primary Flight, and musical acts including: Amtrac, Araabmuzik, Bondax, Hundred Waters, Kilo Kush, Kool Keith, Metro Zu, Samo Sound Boy.
NQB8R. RSVP here. 4 p.m., Gramps 176 NW 24 St., Wynwood. It's all free.
Saturday, Dec. 8
The recent passing of a local musical legend Dan Hosker left the whole community mourning. His birthday would have been on Dec. 9, so his friends and family are coming together to celebrate for two days at Churchill's. Hosker's sister Chris is collecting $5 toward a music scholarship in his name. Those playing include his former band Boise Bob and His Backyard Band, Charlie Pickett and Friends, Humbert, Joe (Hosker) O'Brien and the Terrible Three, Rat Bastard, Kenny Millions, Curious Hair, and Xela Zaid.
4. Soul Clap!
This will be the most fun thing you'll do all Basel. First off, you'll be able to check out Wynwood's newest bar, Gramps, which we're writing about all over this list. Secondly, I'll be one of the judges of the dance contest. Come say hi, shake your butt, scrub the ground, and show me what it is that you've got. And then, I'll judge the shit out of you!
Tanlines may not be playing on the bay at UR1, but they will be making it to the MAM Ball, one of the most fabulous events of the fair. When you give to MAM, you give the gift of art, bitches. Pay up.
Crash the Ball, MAM Ball After Party. With Tanlines (DJ set). 10 p.m. Miami Art Museum, 101 W Flagler Ave., Miami. Tickets cost $150 for non-members via miamiartmuseum.org. Call 305-375-1704 or visit miamiartmuseum.org.
2. Basel Castle
This Basel Castle shit is cray. Usually a massive booming space filled with all the bass your ears can't handle, this year, it seems they're including the Jacuzzi Boys? Maybe this'll be their EDM debut. Bring earplugs and whatever it is that gets you all fucked up.
Last year, I topped off Basel at the Overthrow guys' Hard 2 Leave party at Gold Rush
, the strip club. Spent too much money, saw too much skin. 'Twas a great time. Hopefully, they have another cheaper one this year.
Basel Castle 2012. With Purity Ring, Twin Shadow, Trinidad James, Brenmar, Jacuzzi Boys, Teengirl Fantasy, Nick Catchdubs, Donnis, Oliver, and more. 6 p.m. Overthrow Castle, 51 NW 20th St., Miami. Free before 8 p.m. with RSVP; priority tickets sold out. Visit baselcastle.theoverthrow.com.
1. Flying Lotus, Zola Jesus, Dan Deacon
If you haven't seen Dan Deacon's video created by Miami-to-L.A. artist Jen Stark, you've never lived. So, look up there, press play, and enjoy. This will undoubtedly be the "cool" post-UR1 party of the year. Don't miss it.
The Windish Agency presents Flying Lotus. With Zola Jesus and Dan Deacon. 11 p.m. Grand Central, 697 N Miami Ave., Miami. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via ticketfly.com. Call 305-377-2277 or visit grandcentralmiami.com.
Other events we suggest:
Tilly and the Wall. 9 p.m., Dec. 6 at the Stage, 170 NE 38 Street, Miami.
Rakim. With Problem Kids and ArtOfficial, 9 p.m., Dec. 7 at the Stage, 170 NE 38 Street, Miami.
Chromatics. With Prince Rama, 8 p.m., Dec. 7, Gusman Center, 174 East Flagler, Miami.
Moksha Art Fair. From Dec. 5 to 8, there will be art and music. On Dec. 8 catch acts like Dusthead and Sounduo.
Best event to sneak into:
MOCA L.A. at the Raleigh
Figure it out.
Honorable Sunday, Dec. 9 Mentions:
We know you'll be too tired to move on Sunday, but in case you are 20 years old, on tons of drugs, or are totally determined to ruin your mental health with art and dance, then we've got two extra parties for you.
Again, Gramps. They're doing it all this weekend. Bringing down outdoor, New York day party Tiki Disco with DJs Andy Pry, Eli Escobar, and Unemployed lloyd.
Tiki Disco at Gramps,3 p.m. 174 NW 24th St., Miami. Free.
Addition: Le Swag Dos
End the art with some swag on South Beach. This affair is hosted by
Let's end the Art Basel festivities with a chic South Beach affair New York's Danii Phae and Oakland's GitaSpeax. Music by Power 96's DJ Springer and Fergie, and Atlanta's DJ Genesis
Le Swag Dos at 9 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 9 at Q Lounge, 841 Washington Ave. Miami Beach. RSVP at email@example.com.
You will need George to bring you that funk with the massive hangover you'll be nursing.
With Jona Cerwinske. Bardot Miami, 3456 N Miami Ave., Miami. Call 305-576-55770 or visit bardotmiami.com.
For my and friends' past coverage of Art Basel Miami Beach and a few laughs, a survival guide, a thank God it's over post, my 2010 guide, my 2011 guide, and highlights from last year's Basel.