Ultra Ravers' Ten Tips for Finding Love at an EDM Fest
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez
We all know the words to the song.
But is Rihanna telling the truth? Is it really possible to find love in a hopeless place?
Ultra Music Festival can sometimes seem to be as hopeless a place as any for finding a true connection. You're lucky just to find toilet paper.
And yet, would you believe it, we met some fine folks who swear they've groundscored some lasting devotion between dirty drops! Cynics would say those people are fools, but if PLUR is real, there must be some chance for love, right?
Photo by George Martinez
10. Believe and Be Found by Love
Despite EDM fests being a sweaty mob scenes, our new pal Stacey believes wholeheartedly in the chance to find love amid the uhntz-uhntz-ing masses.
"One day, love will find me," she swears. "I'm trying. It's why I'm here."
Is Ultra a good place to meet dudes?
"Absolutely," she says. "It's just one more thing in common. If you party together, you stay together. I'm a firm believer, because then you have nothing to worry about, nothing to hide."
How to get a woman who rave's heart?
"Sense of humor," she said. "You've got to be funny. If I'm not laughing, you're not happening."
9. Don't Bother With the Dudes, Love Your BFF
Are these best friends forever looking for love at festivals too? "Yes, actually, every single time," they say. "But then Ultra week, it's like fuck that."
"Fuck guys here," the blonde friend says. "While you're here, it's fun. When you go home, fuck that. It's weird as shit. You would never know. They're so weird. You don't want to do that. Do not find love at a rave!"
Sorry, dudes, these ladies don't want your "weird diseases."
Photo by George Martinez
8. Don't Get Grabby, Guys
Mashed into a crowd of good-looking people, you might be seized by the sudden urge to let your hands wander all over the body of a sexy stranger. But please, stop yourself. Maybe try a conversation.
"There's always going to be people that you want to meet, and there'll be someone that you connect with," one lady raver tells us. "There's plenty of people here. You'll definitely connect with someone."
For her, it's just part of the deal at these things.
"I've definitely had a connection where me and him partied the whole time together," she says. "Especially at these type of EDM events. They've really got that whole positivity vibe and the whole PLUR thing. So it's, like, especially here, you'll find people who are really open-minded, good people."
And to successfully acquire the affection of a lady raver?
"A guy who just dances next to me and doesn't even try to grab my hips," she explains.
"And someone definitely looking out for you. If there's people pushing up on you, he's going to maintain space. That care, that unspoken vibe for each other."
See fellas? It's all about respect.
7. Steer Clear! Crazy People Make Bad Significant Others
What about these blushing beauties from New Jersey? Do they believe in love at first drop?
"No, not at all," the lovely brunette says. "Especially here, because there's so many people, and you don't know anybody."
"It's like going to a bar," the redhead adds. "At festivals, people are crazy. They're probably on drugs. I would never think to meet a significant other."
6. Soul Mates Are Everywhere
None of these girls has ever left a dance floor in love with a stranger, but they could sorta see something like that goin' down.
"Anything can happen," they say. "Everyone has a soul mate, so you can meet them anywhere and everywhere."
What do they like in a raver dude?
"Somebody that's just having a good time and wants to have fun with people."
5. Grab Some Pizza, Pop a Squat
"My boyfriend is here, and he loves me."
Did they meet at a rave?
"We met at Hot Box Pizza."
It turns out, these girls are dating a pair of brothers. But if they weren't taken, they'd be looking for "someone who has fun."
"Somebody who can just let loose and dance and just rage," the blonde chimes.
"Somebody nice who goes out of his way," her friend says. "If I'm stuck between a bunch of people and uncomfortable, he comes to my rescue."
But they believe Ultra is a much better experience with someone special.
"I have so much more fun with my boyfriend here, because I'm like, 'Let me get on your shoulders, I don't care what you say. Squat, let me get on.' And he listens."
4. Don't Do Drugs
Is love at an EDM fest even possible?
"Yes, totally," these two say with enthusiasm. Sure, it's never happened to them, but every time they hit a dance floor, they're open to a true connection.
"We went to a music festival in Amsterdam, and we were hopeful, but it didn't work out. We ended up dancing with each other, and that was it."
But maybe that's because their standards are pretty high.
"No drugs," is what they're looking for. Zero room for fake chemistry here, bro.
Blake Montieth met his girlfriend Kelly Alliegro at the recent R.L. Grime concert. They partied at Ultra with their buddies Camila Zuniga and Daniela Ferris.
3. Attend a V-Day Rave
The two ladies, Camila and Daniela, on the end definitely think romance at a rave can be real.
"I've met somebody who I connect with musically, and it's like music brings us together on a whole other level," Ms. D tells us. "It's the heavy bass. Everyone's ratchy, and you end up twerking on someone."
And would you believe it? We actually found our own pair of raver lovers, Blake and Kelly. These cuties owe their whole relationship to a party.
"We met at a party, RL Grime," he says, referring to the DJ's recent Valentine's Day engagement at Grand Central.
"We were up by the stage, I saw her, we started talking, and that was that."
But what was it about her?
"It's everything," he gushes. "It's not one particular thing."
2. Attend Ultra Music Festival
This woman has been to every Ultra since its inaugural edition in 1999, and in all those years, she has indeed met someone special.
"I actually dated one of my ex-girlfriends from Ultra of 2006, we were together for like three years here," she says. "We broke up already. Couples that rave together, stay together. But we were young. So, you know."
What does she look for?
"Someone who looks like me again," she says, referring to the kandi, we're sure. "Just fun-loving, open, and nice looking."
1. Don't Get Your Hopes Up Too High
"I've met a guy," the braider admits. "But nothing's going to come of it."
And since she doesn't have huge expectations, this lady's looking for qualities in guys that might provide short-term benefits.
"If he was tall and I could go up on his shoulders, then that would be great," she says.
And her friend?
"I've never actually hooked up with anybody at a festival, or met a guy."
Her friend can't believe it. "You've never danced with someone at a crowd?"
"I've been asked for my number, but I've never given mine or been interested in anybody that I've met so far at a festival."
Then again, she is here with her boyfriend, er, ex-boyfriend. It's that kind of weekend.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.
Get the Music Newsletter
Keep your thumb on the local music scene with music features, additional online music listings and show picks. We'll also send special ticket offers and music promotions available only to our Music Newsletter subscribers.