Thursday, September 3, 2009 at 11:56 a.m.
Stop. Collaborate and listen: Ice is back with a brand-new, um, nothing. Except, well, he's bringing his old Caucasian rap shtick to the Seminole Casino Hollywood for a free Labor Day weekend show. I mean, obviously it's free. I wouldn't pay to see this 41-year-old white boy sing-talk his way through the hit-laden tracklist of 1991's To The Extreme, would you?
OK, yes, we would
pay. But only if Mr. Robert Matthew Van Winkle
stopped dressing like an over-the-hill motocross rider and immediately resurrected his classic early '90s look. That means flashes of yellow gold bling and an infinite collection of American flag bomber jackets and windbreakers, and four vertical stripes shaved into the left eyebrow. And YES ... Oh yes, the hair, so perfectly molded into a cresting dirty blonde flattop wave with that little taste of vanilla at the front.
But barring that miracle, we wouldn't pay. So yeah, just go get your nostalgia kicks for free this weekend. Or check out the jump for a video of the Iceman's "Ninja Rap" from the immortal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze.