The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game, and list reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win, while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't.
Not us. Not here. Instead, we're focusing on why every week's opponent has the worst fanbase in all the NFL.
This week, the 1-1 Dolphins are set to play the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday at SunLife Stadium.
See also: 9 Reasons Buffalo Bills Fans Are the Worst
Here are 9 reasons why their fans are the worst:
9. Because They Cheer When Their Own Players Get Life-Threatening Injuries There's showing passion for your team and demanding greatness. And then there's being a total raging shithead about it. Back in 2012, the Chiefs then-quarterback Matt Cassel was not having a particularly good year. As it is with every other team that doesn't have Tom Brady or Peyton Manning, fans demanded Cassel be benched for the backup. Then, during a home game, Cassel was leveled by a Baltimore Ravens player and badly injured. Cassel got clocked so hard he couldn't make it to the sidelines on his own power and was later diagnosed with a concussion.
And how did the Chiefs faithful react to watching their own player get obliterated? WHY, THEY CHEERED. They actually cheered. As if the team had scored a touchdown. OH LOOK, A MAN WHO PLAYS FOR OUR TEAM JUST BRUISED HIS BRAIN AND MIGHT HAVE MEMORY LOSS AND DEGENERATIVE COGNITIVE ISSUES FOR THE REMAINDER OF HIS LIFE FUCK YEA HIGH FIVE!!!! Oh, and who were the fans clamoring for to take Cassel's place? That all-time world beater Brady Quinn. Real football savvy there, Chiefs fans. Well done.
8. Because They're Wholly Unoriginal Again in 2012, Chiefs fans were FED UP. So to express their frustration and demand changes, they pooled together some money to fly an airplane banner over Arrowhead Stadium demanding the ownership fire their GM. And they totally ripped off this idea from a bunch of Miami Dolphins fans!
7. Because Of All That Damn Barbecue. ENOUGH WITH THE BARBECUE. WE GET IT. Oohhh lookit we have the best barbecue in all the land! Enough with that shit, Kansas City. Knock it off. It's barbecue. It's cooked meat and sauce. You're not curing cancer here and you're not changing the world in any way shape or form. You're throwing dead pig flesh onto a hot grill and then slathering it in brown sauce and spices and salt. BUT IT'S SALT YOU CAN'T FIND SALT ANYWHERE ELSE. Oh sure, it's delicious and it's tasty and it's good tailgate food.
But you know where else you can get meat slathered in sauce that's really tasty and delicious? EVERY OTHER DAMN CITY IN AMERICA.
Oh but ours is the best. No, it's not. Yours tastes like every other BBQ. Know who gives a shit about this kind of thing? You, people that watch Food Network and fat people.
Otherwise, no one truly gives a shit.
6. Because Their Fans Hump Each Other In The Parking Lot Like this couple who, after a loss, couldn't wait to take out their sorrows on each other with a good old fashion sad coitus. So they did it in the parking lot of Arrowhead Stadium in 20 degree weather with their winter clothes partially still on. And no, it wasn't inside a parked car. It was in the actual parking lot. Classy!
5. Because They Kick Cops In The Balls In The Parking Lot There's getting drunk and rowdy and acting like a total imbecile at football games. And then there's this dipshit, who decided to take his drunken mongoloidism up a notch by attacking a police officer and kicking him in the balls for no reason whatsoever.
The man was eventually Tasered, punched and arrested.
And here is the scene: pic.twitter.com/pkkZ6x1gXD
— Robert Klemko (@RobertKlemko) December 2, 2013In December 2013, during a game with rival Denver Broncos, a Kansas City Cheifs fan found a Bronocs fan sleeping in his car. Evidently the Bronocs fan had gotten so hammered during the game, he stumbled around the parking lot and got into the car thinking it was his own.
So the Chiefs fan decided to remove the man from his car. And by remove the man from his car, we actually mean beat the man to a pulp until he died. He was eventually charged with first-degree involuntary manslaughter.
3. Because Of This Guy In The Joe Montana Jersey On The Right
2. And This Guy
1. Because Of These Assholes
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