All 30 Cities in Broward County, Ranked From Worst to Best
Photo via NASA
There are nearly 2 million people spread across 1,320 square miles and 30 cities in Broward County.
That's a lot of ground to cover. Chances are, you haven't seen every inch of Broward, but that's OK. Because we're here to help make sense of it all.
We've ranked all 30 cities from worst to best, so join us as we break down Broward piece by piece.
(Except for you, Weston. You may want to look away.)
Weston: Hey, at least we're not North Korea!
J.A. de Roovia via Wikipedia Commons
Pro: Shit. This is hard. It's, um, not North Korea?
Con: Broward's westernmost city couldn't even come up with an exciting name. Weston? Jesus, the creative team behind the orange could have come up with a catchier title. This boring suburban sprawl is built on an 8,000-year-old Indian burial mound, and even that doesn't make it exciting. As far as we can tell, Weston doesn't have an official city motto. We submit the following: "Weston! It's like putting together a 10,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of the color blue."
Bottom Line: Weston makes shuffleboard look like mixed martial arts. Stay away!
Pros: Back in 1924, Margate was founded by a ground of heretic nuns who cast off their religious vows after discovering the musical stylings of early jazz artist Jelly Roll Morton. The so-called "Holly Jelly Rollers" held wild orgiastic seances, smoked hashish, and believed after death that the Holy Jelly-ness himself would return to conquer the world.
See also: The Six Worst Places in Broward
UberTAILGATE: Hard Rock Stadium Dolphins vs. Cardinals
TicketsSun., Dec. 11, 12:00pm
LUXURY SEATING: Miami Dolphins v Arizona Cardinals
TicketsSun., Dec. 11, 1:00pm
Miami Dolphins vs. Arizona Cardinals
TicketsSun., Dec. 11, 1:00pm
Fight Time PRO MMA
TicketsFri., Dec. 16, 8:00pm
Cons: We had to make that up because there is nothing interesting to say about Margate. Sorry, Margate.
Bottom Line: If only the Holy Jelly-ness cometh.
This is an Applebee's. It might be the most exciting thing in Coral Springs.
28. Coral Springs
Pros: Coral Springs is a kind of paradise if your check list includes: suburban shopping developments, little traffic and congestion, chain restaurants, and more white people than you'll find in a Mr. Clean commercial.
Cons: Coral Springs is a hellhole if your check list includes: suburban shopping developments, little traffic or congestion, chain restaurants, and more white than people than you'll find in a Mr. Clean commercial.
Bottom Line: More white people than you'll find at a Gilmore Girls fan convention.Next Page
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