This is not a satirical piece. It is real. No foolin', folks.
In a Facebook message posted Tuesday, Congressman Allen Bernard West continued his proud and stupid tradition of calling people names instead of proposing actual solutions. While the message is only 77 words long, not a single word of it has any actual meaning -- which seems a little disingenuous coming from a guy who says he is so very against "political propaganda."
It seems particularly specious this time: In the same message that he decries "intellectually dishonest rhetoric," Congressman Allen Bernard West says President Obama and his "liberal progressive disciples" were like giant, man-eating aliens.
"This is so reminiscent of the Twilight Zone episode 'To Serve Man,' " West wrote. "Obama and his liberal progressive disciples are the modern day Kanamits."
For those of you not intimately acquainted with insults taken out of television episodes from 1962, the Kanamits were a race of nine-foot-tall aliens that come to Earth and cure famine, blight, and nuclear warfare. They also bring in advanced technology to solve the world's energy problems. In other words, the Kanamits were acting like dirty, rotten progressives.
The problem, though, is that the Kanamits don't have noble intentions -- their kindness is really just a not-very-elaborate ruse to fatten up the human race so they can be carted back to the Kanamit home planet to be eaten. A Kanamit book called To Serve Man that was discovered by the humans turns out not to be about helping man at all -- it's a cookbook. (Get it? Serving man?)
Sorry for the spoiler, but you've had 50 years to enjoy the twist. The statute of limitations is way out. Also, though, OH MY GOD! THE PROGRESSIVES WANT TO EAT PEOPLE! Good thing West included the warning that people should not "fall for the intellectually dishonest rhetoric and become post-election day dinner America!"
This raises a big question, though -- if the left is guilty of "intellectually dishonest rhetoric," what on Earth (or on alien planets) is West guilty of? Here's the full message. If you can find any redeeming intellectual content in it, let me know, because it went way over my head:
Here we go again, the artful dodger, President Barack Hussein Obama, bribing the electorate with political gimmicks. We are witnessing a political propaganda program of Orwellian proportions designed to manipulate and deceive the American people. This is so reminiscent of the Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man". Obama and his liberal progressive disciples are the modern day Kanamits. My warning to you all, don't fall for the intellectually dishonest rhetoric and become post-election day dinner America!
Is there anything in that message that isn't name-calling? Is this really the level of dialogue we're supposed to expect from the guy who represents us in Congress? Even the link doesn't work right.
And it's not even original name-calling: West is recycling the "Kanamit" insult from a 2009 column he wrote for Wheels on the Road, a biker magazine that carried his writing. It regularly featured ingenius turns of phrase like "I find myself on the verge of total rage which is great for writing," "I am freaking mad as hell," and yes, in one column, "The media is simply seasoning us for the modern day Kanamits, the liberal socialists."
Is it possible? Has the Great Screeching Name-Caller run out of names? It doesn't matter. He'll just start right back at the top of the list.
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.