Allen West Says Patrick Murphy Cheated
After spending craploads of money to win a second term in congress, and then not winning the election, and then having his request for a recount denied because he lawfully didn't have the numbers to get one, and then getting a partial recount only to have that recount reveal that he was down even more votes than originally thought, and then finally conceding to Patrick Murphy, and then proclaiming that he was basically Abraham Lincoln because Abraham Lincoln also lost an election, Allen West is now coming out and saying Patrick Murphy only won because he cheated.
Frankly, West pulling the "I was cheated!" card took a lot longer than we actually expected. That's some nifty exercising of self control, Colonel! *HIGH FIVE*
West went on The Mark Levin Show last week and told the conservative talk show host, "I'm not going away just because of a congressional race where he seems to have to cheat to beat me."
If only more people had not voted for Murphy than they voted for West! Grr, cheaters!
Of course, Allen didn't specify how exactly Murphy cheated, because Murican Heroes don't have to explain nothin to nobody don't tread on me! And, of course, Levin didn't press West for an explanation, but only agreed with a resounding, "It's disgusting."
A man losing an election because his opponent got more votes. WHY! I! NEVER!
Murphy, who entered the race as a major underdog, was one of several candidates to unseat Tea Party leaders this November. And as West unraveled conspiracy theories and called his opponents vile, and insulted Obama supporters and calling people on food stamps
"You are a national treasure," Levin told West. "You are way too important to have something like this to happen and off you go. That can't happen."
You're way to important to lose an election by virtue of having less votes than the other guy. It's appalling! Outrageous, even!
West also claimed that he has plenty of opportunities and offers (i.e. FOX NEWS), and that his voice was "not going to be lost."
So fear not, people of earth. West told Levin that he's going to be right here saying crazy shit because he's "a warrior and a statesmen."
Just like that William Wallace!
Everybody remembers that scene from Braveheart when the anti-semite actor playing Wallace screamed out, "They may take my job via a legal and completely legitimate election, but they'll never take.... MY VOOOIIICEEE!!"
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.
- Six Ways Fort Lauderdale Has Changed for the Worse
- Deposition Shows Mismanagement, Lax Oversight Led to BSO Crime Lab Failure
- Hollywood Looks to Build Affordable Housing for Artists