Dan Marino, Don't Fret: Love Children Are So In Right Now: Top Four Celebrity Love Children
Everyone, lay off Dan Marino. So he's got a love child. Who doesn't these days?
Man + random woman = love child is an equation that's deeply rooted in the annals of human history. Going all the way back to the nation's founding, love children came, and love children went. Thomas Jefferson had six. Then, Grover Cleveland fathered a love child during his first presidential campaign in 1892.
One would think the creation of contraceptives would winnow the number of love children. Think again. A good love child is a difficult thing to stop. Especially, it seems, for egomaniacal men like Dan Marino, et al.
Still, if the history of love children is any guide, the gossip plaguing Marino will soon diminish. And it may happen so quickly that people may soon be surprised to learn that Marino actually even has a love child.
How do we know?
BECAUSE IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME.
Behold, the four most shocking love children we forgot all about. STUPID US.
1. Clint Eastwood
Apparently, Clint Eastwood has himself a love child. Way back when, in the Paleozoic era, when Eastwood was capable of sexual intercourse and was married to an actress named Maggie Johnson, he pulled a fast one on her. He delayed having children with her for 15 years while fathering a child with another woman.
Bam! Clintwood style.
2. Eddie Murphy
Here's a kooky story. Turns out Eddie Murphy has a love child with Scary Spice from Spice Girls. Hooray?
He found out about the surprise from the magazine OK!, which plastered Ms. Scary on its cover holding a child she said was Murphy's. Murphy demanded a DNA test, got one, and was anointed the sire of this spawn. Then, he ignored it. Murphy has seven children.
3. Steve Jobs
Steve Jobs was 23, about to launch to Apple, and dating a 20-something Chris Ann-Brennan, a San Francisco painter, when the couple had a love child.
Jobs didn't think he was the father, so he denied her for many years. But later, after confirmation, he paid for his daughter, Lisa Ann-Brennan, to go to school, and she graduated from Harvard before becoming a prominent author and journalist.
4. Mel Gibson
And finally, Mel Gibson called his girlfriend and baby's mama, Oksana Grigorieva -- who he fathered a daughter with in 2009 while married to another woman -- a "bitch" and a "fucking fake."
Score one for Mel! YOU WIN!
Follow the writer @terrence_mccoy.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.
- MTV Casting for Show True Life: I'm Addicted to Flakka
- Again, Spray-Painters Deface Signs on Hollywood Streets Named for Confederate Leaders
- Schlitterbahn Owner: I'm Psyched to Build Waterpark in Fort Lauderdale