Can Dennis Rodman be distilled to just ten soundbites?
The answer is yes. But it's a slow yes.
For this week's feature, Reinventing Rodman, I hung out with the NBA Hall of Fame member and condemned diplomat for a night of booze, cigars, sex talk, and drag queens. I can confidently say Dennis Rodman is one of the most interesting people I've ever met.
I would say, even, in term of shocking antics and confounding thought processes, he's the closest thing to a modern Andy Warhol we have in today's America.
The conversation we had was impossible to follow then, and it's impossible to follow now. Plus, he even invented a word mid-conversation: "inbraining." Even with context, I had no idea what it meant, but suspect it may have something to do with idea brainstorming.
That said, here's David Rodman in his undiluted glory.
Dennis Rodman on a friend's backyard:
"Two years ago there was no fence there. It was nothing there. It was, like, open. I said, guess what? This is some bullshit up in here. This is a true story. Put some bullshit up here and guess what, make it look beautiful. And I said one thing, change all the bush shit. I said do one thing, go to that place and start having that bullshit right there -- never stains. You see that shit on the hotel, right? It never stains, right? Never stains. I said do one thing: boom. That's it."
Dennis Rodman recommends sod, rather than grass:
"It looks better, God damn it. They don't do that bullshit. It's water resistant. Whatthefuck? There's this place on Oakland Park Boulevard that does that shit always, for everybody."
Dennis Rodman on his fealty to others:
"I would love you to be, take me to be to do anything you need to be attached to people. I'm attached. I'm attached. That means I like you a lot. And I'm not special. But I'm gifted. Just like you're gifted. I'll do one thing: I'll protect you. I'll protect you from hell. You know me, I got a mouth. I do one thing. I'll hit that bitch right quick. I can't hit nobody."
Immediately afterward, Dennis Rodman explains how to recover from catastrophic knee surgery:
"When you got knee surgery, right. And people don't understand this, you still work out. You do everything up here, right up here: boom. Keep moving and grooving, because this right here with catch the fuck up. You do one thing, honey. In two weeks, honey, this shit will do one thing. Make it balance."
Dennis Rodman on...?
"Do one thing. Cambodia, right. Guess what. This music, I've been through a lot. Indonesia, right. Guess what. this whole page, right. It's easy, right. There's babies feeding, right. You know what's amazing, right. I don't do it for money, personally. I don't do that bullshit."
Dennis Rodman on what he does:
"But I just do one thing, honey. Make money. A lot. In your interview, do one thing, make sure you put people who are important."
Dennis Rodman on depression:
"My favorite thing to talk about is life. One reason, I see life every day and it's not fun. It's difficult. Every day is difficult. And you try to do one thing. You make it from place, to another place. Famous or not famous. Rich or not rich. It's the same place, man. It's the same goddamn place. I love people. That's my thing. Guess what, guess what. I've found in my life that things change. They change, they change, and that's good. And guess what. People who have money you have people who like you that people say you havea good soul and they love you. They love you."
Dennis Rodman on love
I look for love in people. You have to do one thing. You have perception of people. I do one thing, honey. Watch this. My friend owns Myspace, right. He sold it to Fox, right, for $500 million, right. So Fox took one thing and made $11 billion. He looked at me said one thing: 'Fuck.' That's all he said: 'Fuck.' I get emotional, and it sucks. Steve jobs did one thing, he was a sick man, he was sick, and he came back and made Apple again. He was sick and he made Apple again. He did everything for Apple.
Dennis Rodman on William Hearst:
"William Hearst. Hearst was the original rich guy. He did one thing, he was a cocky motherfucker, right? He did everything right. Rockefeller, boom. After that, boom. After that, Roosevelt? Fuck him! He was gay as hell. He was gay as hell, right? He was gay as hell, right?"
Dennis Rodman on Madison, Wisconsin:
"That place sucks! Now that place sucks! Milwaukee, right? Only 45 minutes from Chicago. Yeah, I'll get my dick sucked there real quick."
Dennis Rodman on looking good:
"We're going to the Grill. (?) Then we're going to steam and then do one thing. Keep it working and moving and grooving. Just moving forward. We're gonna go steam. We do one thing. Let's go do our job. We do one thing, honey. Look good: always. Cool. Cool."
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!