Donald Trump Admits That He Is Not, In Fact, An Orangutan
Remember when Donald Trump went on The YouTube and demanded Barack Huseeeeeein Obama release his college records to prove that a black man can not only be president of the United States but also a college graduate?
In return, Trump promised to give money to a charity of Obama's choice -- The Charity That Helps Black People Charity, The Charity That Helps Black Kids To Grow Up And Not Do Black People Things Like, For Example, Stealing Stuff Charity, AIDS, and others like those ones.
Obama shockingly never took on Trump's
racist erudite challenge, and so a bunch of charities didn't get no money.
Well, recently, comedian Bill Maher stepped up and gave Trump a taste of his own dick medicine by asking him for his birth certificate proving that Trump was not the "spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan."
Maher offered Trump $5 Million to a charity of The Donald's choosing.
According to Yahoo! News and his own Twitter feed, Donald Trump has taken up the challenged and proven that he is not, in fact, the spawn of two orangutans that got it on.
In fact, Trump got his lawyers involved. They sent Maher a letter, which was obtained by Yahoo! News:
Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump's birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan. Please remit the $5 million to Mr. Trump immediately and he will ensure that the money be donated to the following five charities in equal amounts: Hurricane Sandy Victims, The Police Athletic League, The American Cancer Society, The March of Dimes, and The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.
The endless black bottomless chasm that is Trump's self awareness is something to behold. But, should Maher come through, at least some charities will benefit from it.
Also, the challenge gave us what has to be the greatest thing ever written by anyone's attorney EVER:
"Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump's birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan."
So, thanks to Bill Maher, everybody wins.
The letter, and Trump proving he's not the result of monkeys fucking below (although, we still have our doubts). Click to enlarge:
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.
- Chubby Checker Sues Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom over Kids' Clothing Line
- Below-Normal Hurricane Season Predicted by NOAA
- Boynton Beach Man Shot in the Face After Answering Knock on Door