Jimmy H., a South Florida electrical engineer, developed Establishing Solutions to cover the asses of liars and cheaters with a paper trail and references to add credence to their sly-dog manipulations. His name is a pseudonym because he wants to protect his current career in case this fails.
New Times caught up with the "universal wingman" to learn more about his just-launched service. Like most small-business entrepreneurs, he hopes his business will end up being a million-dollar idea. They say everybody has one in a lifetime!
Establishing Solutions (with the tag line "We back you up!") offers these convenient "personal wing-man" services:
Pseudo Work History -- AKA embellished résumé and fake cover letter.
Pseudo Travel Agent -- Airline, hotel, and car rental confirmations that look like the real deal. "This package works well with swingers too!" the company's website boasts.
The "infinitely customizable" Pseudo Alibi Package -- Use your imagination, and Establishing Solutions will keep up with your every lie.
Pseudo Doctor's Office -- Is your boss wondering why a deep bronze tan is a side-effect of that 48-hour bout of food poisoning? Establishing Solutions will whip out its version of a physician's pad and get you out of jail free.
Pseudo Rescue Call -- Not like a 911 rescue call. This is just an "OMG, you need to leave that awful party because your third cousin from Arizona has fallen ill" call.
Pseudo Call In Sick -- For those fake illnesses that are too severe for you to call your boss yourself... or for bad actors.
Date Getaway Call -- You get the idea.
Private Shopping -- No, not like a stylist. This service is for people who don't want certain purchases showing up on their own credit cards -- like those assless chaps you've been eying for that certain someone unbeknown to your wife.
Having just launched this month, Jimmy has had a few inquiries but only one client.
So, Jimmy, tell us about your first transaction.
Last night, I actually got my first piece of business on a fake doctor's note. [The person] had taken a week off to go to Key West, and they needed a note to go back to work. The situation was that the lady, she had previously had cancer, and she was just finding out that everything has cleared up this week, and she wanted to take a week off.
We kind of added that into the doctor's note saying that she was clear of all the cancer and tumors. Testing was the excuse.
The note read something like this: From this day to that day, this person was under my care -- basically stating the doctor... on hospital letterhead and everything. I'm not going to divulge [which hospital]. It was a real one.
What gave you the idea for Establishing Solutions?
One day, I was just thinking about fake job references -- for no reason. I don't need them. I don't think I would have ever used this service in this way. I didn't see many sites that sell [them] specifically and look very professional.
As for the cheating part, I don't really cheat on my significant other, and she's completely aware of my job and the business I'm starting.
Do you think this is a million-dollar idea?
Well, I'm hoping it's a million-dollar idea, but it might just be something to do on the side to get extra money. I can go either way with it. Hopefully it blows up... It's something I can definitely outsource once business starts kicking in... I plan on expanding and outsourcing the work.
So, you actually write résumés and cover letters?
I got two inquiries from that. I can get you an address; I can get you a phone number that they can use and write up the résumé for you and the cover letter.
Is this service illegal?
No, it's just creating the paperwork and everything. No, that's not illegal. I mean, if we were doing it to a government job or something, it would be illegal. If they were going to the millitary or something like that, I would not allow it.
You have a "Cheater's Blog" on your website. Tell me about that.
It's just a place people can add in their stories about how they've used our service or how they've cheated in life. It's just a couple of stories people can read into and maybe get ideas.
What feedback have you received?
I've got some friends who have told me, you know, that's ingenious. My girlfriend's brother... is a little bit more judgmental of it. He thinks it's kind of wrong.
Do you think there are moral issues with a business like this?
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Morality is just basically -- it's different for every person. Some people will find it immoral; some won't. I don't find it completely immoral, but I'm just looking at the market of it.
Is there anything you want to add about your service?
Don't think too much into it. If you need it, use it. If you don't need it, don't use it, don't worry about it.
This is the link to the Establishing Solutions Twitter account with posts like, "Cheating is a right, not a privilege!"