FAU Professor James Tracy Implies Navy Yard Shooting Was Faked
Publicly funded FAU professor of communications James Tracy is little more than humanoid-shaped automaton programmed to peddle sophistry at times of national mourning and fitted with tousled brown hair.
He has exactly one idea. Sometimes he changes proper nouns -- for the purposes, likely, that a new a headline can be written -- but then he quickly slams home The James Tracy Thought.
And indeed, The Only James Tracy Thought That Exists ran on schedule following the Navy Yard shooting that killed 12 people last month in Washington, D.C.
But this time, he doesn't just come out and say it. No, reader, he lays bare all of the evidence for our scrutinous eyes so that we too can soundly reason that it was a hoax.
Take a look:
Hmmmm??? says the Tracy. Any cynic dabbling in the rudiments of logic would come to the same conclusion after viewing this photograph. It's clear that the cops are more concerned with sectioning off the crime scene than with tending to the injured. Which can only mean One Thing. It's a sham!
Next, says Tracy, is the fact that if the situation was so hectic, so chaotic, so unfathomably horrific, why were these paramedics apparently so bored?
IT'S BECAUSE THEY KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN ALL ALONG.
**brain explodes** #jamestracywasalwaysright #we'requittingjournalism
So, all in all, the facts speak for themselves. When you pick singular images from a constantly streaming deluge of pictures and headlines, you can make anything -- anything at all -- seem fraudulent.
(There is no government shutdown. It's just what they want you to think.)
One more thing: James Tracy gets paid more than $60,000 per year in public money for being so smart.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.