This month, the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) released a hefty report on the worse governors in America. And yup, no news flash here, Rick Scott made the short list for the barrel's bottom.
CREW picked six governors as the worst of the worst, a distinction Scott shared with others like Georgia's Nathan Deal and Maine's Paul LePage. But as you look it over, you realize Scott's actually done the citizens of Florida a big solid during his first appearance at the plate. CREW dug in on policy decisions and conflicts of interest, but failed to consider name recognition. Nationally speaking, our gov's managed to stay pretty low-key compared to some of the other brand-name idiots out there. Rather than CREW's straight-faced approach, we've complied the real Who's Who.
5. Bobby Jindal -- Louisiana
Otherwise known to your average CNN-viewer as: The Republican's Great Non-White Hype.
There was a brief but high def moment back in 2009 when Jindal was the guy who would haul the GOP into the next century -- a young, capable moderate who didn't fit into the party's standard serving sizes: Southern red meat or tennis club WASP. But all that promised spoiled when Jindal bombed when tapped to deliver the party's response to Obama's first address to a joint session on Congress in 2009. And by bombed, we mean Jindal's chances were flattened like Dresden.
4. Jan Brewer -- Arizona
Otherwise known to your average CNN-viewer as: The Anti-Immigration Ice Queen
Thanks to the extreme immigration laws that have passed under Brewer's watch, she's earned a rep as, well, not so friendly to folks with darker pigmentation from south of the border. An advocate for zero amnesty, Brewer has pushed through draconian bills cutting off health care for the undocumented, building a fence, and rerouting government funds for border security -- the bona fides for a movement rock star.
3. Bill Haslam -- Tennessee
Otherwise known to your average CNN-viewer as: The Saudi Prince of the American South
If you've ever been stuck at the pump, watching your hard-earned dollars piss away, and wondered who's actually making money off this, Bill Haslam is the answer. The Tennessee governor's father founded Pilot Corporation, the largest truck stop empire in the country. Haslam worked for the family business before turning to politics, and currently the business in the middle of a nasty, high-level fuel rebate scam.
2. Scott Walker -- Wisconsin
Otherwise known to your average CNN-viewer as: The Public Employee Executioner
Walker -- owner of a truly extraordinary derpface -- became a Fox News hero in 2011 after passing what can only charitably called a full court press on the rights of public employees across Wisconsin. The subsequent outcry dented Walker's national stature some in the mainstream, but the Koch Bro's favorite union buster still enjoys far right street cred -- largely thanks to a tough stance on abortion and budget slashing.
1. Rick Perry -- Texas
Otherwise known to your average CNN-viewer as: George W. Bush In a Meat Suit.
This guy. Lolz.
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