Five Reasons Howard Stern Will Fit in Perfectly in Palm Beach

Five Reasons Howard Stern Will Fit in Perfectly in Palm Beach
Photo by Bill Norton via Wikipedia Commons

Last year, the King of All Media bought a house for $52 million on Palm Beach. Howard Stern, as he's also known, lived in the five-bedroom custom mansion only part time. But now, according to Gossip Extra, he's planning to become a permanent Florida resident. The site claims that the shock jock is one of many wealthy New Yorkers making the move down South and that the exodus has to do with Mayor Bill de Blasio's plan to impose additional taxes on high-income residents.

Whatever the reason, we want to welcome Stern. And we think he'll fit right in. It might not seem like it, given that the Private Parts author is known for a character named Fartman and that his neighbors are three times more likely to be conservative than liberal (and that Stern, who once ran as the Libertarian candidate for New York governor, is moving to a place with five registered Libertarians.) Still, we're confident it will be a smooth transition. Here's why:

Five Reasons Howard Stern Will Fit in Perfectly in Palm Beach
via YouTube

5. He's a Jewish Man From New York Who Looks Like a Jewish Woman Palm Beach County has about 255,000 Jewish residents, which is about 20 percent of the total population, so Stern will fit right in with the local demo. And although the population skews heavily female, that shouldn't be a setback to his total assimilation. Given that he's been rocking the same perm-looking hairstyle since the '80s, he will probably be mistaken for an old Jewish woman at least once.

4. He's Really, Really Rich The median income in Palm Beach is $122,000 a year -- well over twice the national average. Stern, whose reported $400 million contract with satellite radio is coming to an end next year, has always been reticent to report his income. But we can assume that between his gig on the radio, a judge's seat on America's Got Talent, the royalties from two books, and the fact that he just completed a $10 million renovation on a Palm Beach mansion, the guy's pretty loaded.

Five Reasons Howard Stern Will Fit in Perfectly in Palm Beach
Wikimedia Commons, via Nicolas Shayko

3. He Won't Be the Only Shock Jock Stern will share the island with Rush Limbaugh -- the neo-con talking head noted for his incendiary comments. The yang to Stern's yin, Limbaugh lives in a compound with a five-bedroom guesthouse. Although the island is small, at least they live about 2.5 miles away from each other. That somewhat mitigates the odds of neighborly feuding, but we can still dream that there will be an endless series of pranks between the two.

2. He Loves Plastic Surgery In 2006, Stern admitted on air that he had lipo and a nose job to remove his double chin. He says he kept the surgery secret for years to avoid being thought of as "really gay." (For someone so insecure about his sexuality/gender-presentation, it's unclear why he neglected to choose the much-cheaper option of a haircut.) This gesture of vanity will give him plenty to talk about with the overly Boxoted housewives of Boca Raton.

Five Reasons Howard Stern Will Fit in Perfectly in Palm Beach
via YouTube

1. "Babba Booey" Doesn't Sound That Different From Old-People Gibberish The median age of Palm Beach is 67 years old, one of the highest in the country. At 60, Stern won't stand out in that regard. And while we can expect a number of his fanatical fans to descend upon the island yelling "Babba Booey" in the background of local news broadcasts, the practice won't be as disruptive as it is in other places. Although people in other cities might find the phrase disruptive or annoying, most likely, in Palm Beach, they'll just chalk it up to poor hearing.

Send your story tips to the author, Allie Conti.

Follow Allie Conti on Twitter: @allie_conti




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