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Five Things We Learned From the Miami Heat Sweeping the Charlotte Bobcats

Five Things We Learned From the Miami Heat Sweeping the Charlotte Bobcats

The Miami Heat took care of business Monday night, beating the Charlotte Bobcats 109-98 and sweeping their first round playoff series in the process.

While there are plenty of game and series recaps to peruse, we at the Pulp like to dig deeper and get into some specific stuff you may or may not have noticed.

Come along with us throughout these playoffs while the Heat continues its quest for a three-peat, as we present to you a handful of things we learned from the games.

Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you'll just relive a cool moment. Either way, you'll be walking away from these posts having a life-altering experience.

LET'S DIVE IN!

*Ray Liotta laugh*

1. LeBron is Wolverine At one point in last night's game, LeBron's knee inadvertently rammed into Charlotte's Bismack Biyombo's granite knees. At first, it looked like LeBron injured his knee. He lay on the ground wincing, grabbing the knee, and appearing to be in a lot pain. Meanwhile, Heat fans' collective assholes puckered up so tightly we all shat diamonds like a Skittles commercial.

But, LeBron got up, limped over with the help of some teammates, had a trainer rub down the leg, and he was soon back at it. Nothing major. Just a thigh contusion.

But in that moment, we all saw our playoff lives flash before our eyes and we cursed the Basketball Gods with a defiant clench fist. Then LeBron ran back out on the court, and showed he was just fine by throwing down 31 points on 10-for-19 shooting.

Sorry about that, Basketball Gods!

LeBron walking off an injury that would cause most grown men to loss all continence reminded us that he is made of pure iron refined in the fires of the sun and dipped in Gamma Rays. And how he is the most unflinchingly hardcore badass to ever play the game.

Immediately following the injury, LeBron buried a 3-pointer, a long two-pointer and then crushed a one-handed dunk. He then led the Heat to their 20th-straight win over Charlotte and the series sweep.

Five Things We Learned From the Miami Heat Sweeping the Charlotte Bobcats

2. After A Kickass Game 1, Dwyane Wade Kinda Went Fart Noise On Us In Game 1 of this series, D-Wade threw down 23 points on 10-of-16 shooting. He played a post-up game, he hit shots, and he Eurostepped over people's heads. Then, Game 2 came, and Wade sort of faded into the ether.

He struggled in Game 2, hitting 4-of-10 shots, and followed that performance with a meh Game 3. It was better than his previous outing, but nowhere near what we saw in Game 1.

Game 4 had Wade struggling with foul trouble and not being much of a factor.

It's nothing to sweat over, of course. And we know that Wade will be out there to eviscerate either the Nets or the Raptors in the next round. But it's worth pointing out that Wade has yet to find his MV3 rhythm in these playoffs.

Luckily, he didn't have to find it in this series. And who the hell are we to question a man who is capable of wanton slaughter of any and all who get in the way of his quest to an NBA title.

 

Five Things We Learned From the Miami Heat Sweeping the Charlotte Bobcats

3. James Jones Is Wrecking Ass A quick look at the metrics reveals an interesting nugget: Whenever James Jones is in the game for the Heat, the other team's collective assholes explode into a fine powder. Look it up!

Five Things We Learned From the Miami Heat Sweeping the Charlotte Bobcats

4. Sweeping Is Fun! The Heat are the only team to finish off their series 4-0 and now will wait at least a week for the Brooklyn-Toronto series to wrap up. Meanwhile, the Pacers are down 3-2 to the 8th seeded Hawks, while the Thunder and Spurs have their hands full. The Heat are chillin, healing their bruises, and waiting. Waiting is good. Sweeping is fun! Yay!

5. This Happened Last Night

The Heat have never shied away from speaking up and making a stand. Showing solidarity with the L.A. Clippers players over Donald Sterling's comments is nothing shocking for these guys.

Send your story tips to the author, Chris Joseph. Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter




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