Florida Doctor Invents a Laser Vibrator

The Afterglow was invented in Florida. Because, of course it was.
The Afterglow was invented in Florida. Because, of course it was.
via Aftterglowscience.com

A Florida-based doctor and inventor is about to get all Star Wars-y up in your vag.

To treat his patients suffering from pelvic pain, board-certified female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgeon Dr. Ralph Zipper came up with a device that uses low-level laser therapy. But during clinical tests, test subjects began reporting sexual arousal, orgasms, and an overall improved sex life, he claims. Turns out Zipper stumbled onto the world’s first laser vibrator by accident and decided to mass-produce it. He calls it the Afterglow.

In the same way Viagra was intended to be a heart medicine but instead gave dudes four-hour erections, Zipper’s device was essentially doing the same for his female patients. He claims that pulsating laser lights increase cellular production of a chemical called cGMP. When this chemical builds up in your body, it relaxes muscles and increases blood flow, which in turn produces clitoral growth and arousal.

"The combination of near-infrared light energy and vibration employed by the Afterglow pleasure device can 'light up' a woman's sex life by triggering the same chemicals that power male potency, creating a Viagra-like effect in women,” Zipper said in a news release.

In other words, lasers in the vag gets the job done, ladies.

"Lasers are used for everything from correcting vision to scanning barcodes at the market," he says. "My research lead to a discovery on how near-infrared light waves can increase a woman's sexual response and ultimately to the development of Afterglow. And responses from users have shown the technology to be effective.”

While it sounds like a cool thing to try, you’ll have to fork over about $200 to get your hands on an Afterglow. And the device is fairly new — Zipper released it just last year. That means more studies are probably needed, though one sex blogger said the laser vibrator may not be for everyone. And by that we mean, it may not fit everyone's, uh, anatomy. The reviewer also says the Afterglow produces "buzzy vibrations," but that could be a good thing, no?

Of course, Zipper’s website has testimonials on how well the vibrator works.

It also may also interest you to know that the Afterglow was given to Academy Award nominees as part of their big-money gift bag at this year’s Oscars.

So, if you want to feel like Felicity Jones and have the extra 200 bucks to spare, you can buy yourself an Afterglow on Zipper’s website or on Amazon.

Or, you can do things the old-fashioned way by drawing a bath, ordering some pizza, and watching Magic Mike on demand.

According to the Florida Department of Health, Zipper has a clear disciplinary record. The website for his practice is www.zipperurogyn.com. 


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