The efforts of a man trying to help a stranded turtle on I-75 in Broward on Tuesday afternoon went horribly wrong.
The man, who really just wanted to save the poor little shelled fella's life, was rewarded for his humanitarian efforts by being bitten by an Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake.
Awww, look at that. What a nice man, rescuing that poor little turtle that was sure to meet an ugly and violent end on the highway.
What a hero.
SWACK! That's 800 milligrams of venom all up in you, hero!
See also: Rock Python Kills Husky in Miami-Dade: Officials Fear New Breed of "Super Snake"
The whole thing went down shortly before 1:30 Tuesday afternoon on I-75 near I-595.
The man, an unidentified 24-year-old, saw the turtle trying to cross the highway, so he picked it up and carried it over to the side of the road. When he placed it in the grass, the snake struck him in the hand.
A buddy of the victim immediately drove him to Memorial Regional Hospital, where he was placed in the intensive-care unit and treated by the Miami-Dade Fire Rescue's venom response unit.
According to science, the man could not have chosen a more douchey species of snake to get bitten by. The Eastern Diamondback can inject as much as 800 milligrams of venom in a single bite. It takes only 70 milligrams to mess you up. It's not clear how much this particular snake injected into the man.
Thankfully, he is expected to recover.
No word on if the snake was captured.
The turtle was probably all, "Better you than me, guy! Also, thanks for the ride!"
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