Florida Man Claims Zombies Chasing Him Forced Him To Throw Concrete at Hotel
A man is in a St. Petersburg jail after throwing a piece of concrete at a Hilton Bayfront hotel Wednesday morning.
But cops failed to see the reason why he did this. ZOMBIES.
And, as we all know from watching The Walking Dead, the best place to hide from the undead is inside a hotel.
Also, the best way to get into a hotel is to throw rocks at it.
All very reasonable.
According to St. Petersburg police, 41-year-old David Allen Jensen told them he was trying to get inside the hotel because zombies were chasing him.
He apparently grabbed a small piece of concrete -- the kinds used to protect garden sprinklers -- and threw it at the Hilton St. Petersburg Bayfront hotel, breaking some glass at about 1:30 a.m Wednesday.
Jensen is reportedly homeless.
Police also say a hotel security guard spotted him trying to break into some parked cars. Jensen eventually broke into a 1991 yellow Mercedes.
The security guard called police, but Jensen apparently spotted the undead trying to eat his brain before cops arrived, and so grabbed the concrete and threw it at the hotel.
When police did arrive, he told them all about the zombies. How they were chasing him. How he needed to escape by breaking into the hotel.
Jensen also told them he broke into the car because he was looking for some tobacco.
After a probably very brief investigation, police found no evidence of any walking dead around the area and placed Jensen under arrest.
He faces burglary and throwing a deadly missile into a building charges, and was being held at the Pinellas County Jail Wednesday in lieu of $15,000 bail.
Chalk this one up to them sneaky zombies.
Well played, zombies!
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