Florida Man Responds to Eviction by Pooping on a Porch
Jorge Jonathan Cruz-Blanco, The Mad Pooper
Jorge Jonathan Cruz-Blanco was evicted from his home on Monday.
So he responded in the most reasonable way imaginable for a person who gets kicked out of his place of residence.
He went out and got a job.
Florida Launch vs. Chesapeake Bayhawks
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 7:00pm
Florida Launch vs. Charlotte Hounds
TicketsSat., Jul. 22, 7:00pm
Intl. Champions Cup pres. by Heineken: Paris Saint-Germain v Juventus
TicketsWed., Jul. 26, 8:30pm
EL CLASICO MIAMI: Real Madrid CF v. FC Barcelona
TicketsSat., Jul. 29, 7:30pm
He dropped his trousers and took a shit on the landlord's porch.
Cruz-Blanco's 72-year-old stepfather, Kenneth Pangborn, was through the with 19-year-old's freeloading ways. Pangborn says that Cruz-Blanco had no job, didn't go to school, and was pretty much a useless pustule loafing around the house all the live-long day.
So Pangborn decided to teach the young punk a lesson with a little tough love and kicked him out of the house.
Cruz-Blanco did not respond well to this news.
He allegedly began to throw a major hissy, throwing things around the house and shoving Pangborn -- who is 72, mind you -- to the ground before storming out the house.
That's when Cruz-Blanco dropped trou, squatted on Panghorn's porch, and dropped a deuce.
Panghorn called 911, although we're not sure if he told the dispatcher that he was assaulted or that someone had gone Najeh Davenport at his front door.
Either way, when cops arrived, Cruz-Blanco tried to explain the heaping pile of human shit on the porch by telling them that he really needed to go to the bathroom. So, apparently, he couldn't just step over the old man he pushed and walked into the house to take care of his business.
However, police cuffed him and hauled him away for pushing an old man and not so much for the poop he made on the floor.
Cruz-Blanco was charged with battery on a person over 65. As of Tuesday, he was being held at the Land O'Lakes jail without bail, which is quite shitty.
Get the Things to Do Newsletter
Find out about upcoming events and special offers happening in South Florida.