Florida Powerball Winner is 84-Year Old Woman, Twitter Responds Accordingly
The winner of the record $590.5 million Florida Powerball finally came forward Wednesday.
And, of course, it's an 84-year-old lady.
Because, God hates us all.
Gloria Mackenzie, of Zephyrhills, was officially announced as the winner of the second-biggest jackpot in the history of the lottery in the U.S. She has decided to take the $370 million lump sum, rather than be paid in increments, which is paid in a 30-year payout plan.
Probably a wise choice.
And, of course, with news of the winner of the massive lotto jackpot being a lone old woman in her mid-80s, came the inevitable responses on Twitter.
Below are our favorites:
$590M Powerball winner is 84 yr old woman from Zephyr Hills, FL. She's getting ready to meet a lot of grandchildren she doesn't remember.
— Peyton's Head (@PeytonsHead) June 5, 2013
If i was the 84 year old lotto winner, my first expense would be hiring someone to wipe my ass
— Paul Carey (@paul1wall0) June 5, 2013
This bitch RT @myfoxtampabay: Lotto officials announce winner of $590 million jackpot: 84-year-old Mrs. Gloria C. MacKenzie.
— Petti Labelle (@ItsKeenaWeena) June 5, 2013
I'd let that 84 year-old lotto winner give me throat cancer - Michael Douglas style - to get in her will
— Dave McD (@DermottMcDavid) June 5, 2013
Well an 84 year-old woman won last month's #Powerball. That's a whole lot of Ensure.
— Adam Paluka (@APaluka) June 5, 2013
That Powerball winner probably could have funded the first war she lived through with her winnings. The whole war.
— Sean Breslin (@Sean_Breslin) June 5, 2013
— Mister G(@Geezus_82) June 5, 2013
Looks like i got an 84 year old cougar in north florida to go hunt down
— Eric Lauzin (@Lauzin) June 5, 2013
— TeFlOn DuDus (@Blockest) June 5, 2013
— Ryan Sparrow (@ryansparrow) June 5, 2013
— JaMonica (@JaMonica_) June 5, 2013
— JR (@Airman_Reese) June 5, 2013
— Mat H. (@echo4H) June 5, 2013
— WWW.AK47FULL.COM (@VAMPIROAK47FULL) June 5, 2013
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