October 15, 2012 | 9:45am
Bigeye thresher shark? Nope. Squid? Nope. Paul Ryan? Most definitely not.
The freakishly beautiful giant eyeball found on Pompano Beach last week belongs to a swordfish, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.
In a post on the agency's Facebook page, it said researchers determined the eyeball belonged to a swordfish based on its "color, size and structure, along with the presence of bone around it."
Not nearly as cool as we were hoping for, but some questions still linger.
Mainly, how did the eyeball come out so perfectly? Was it just tossed off a fishing boat that caught one and filleted the fish on the spot?
If not, is there a one-eye swordfish (don't go there, pervert!) stalking the waters of Pompano?
New Times' offer from last week still stands: If anyone catches a swordfish missing an eye and can prove this eyeball belongs to the beast, we'll give you a super awesome prize*.
*prize will not be super awesome. it will either be a box of pic pens, some sticky notes, a free printed edition of New Times, or something similarly crappy we have laying around the office.