George Zimmerman Goes Shopping for a Tactical Shotgun in Florida
So, let's say you're George Zimmerman.
Wait, we take that back. (Sorry for the offense.)
Let's say you're pretending to be George Zimmerman in a highly hypothetical moment of conjecture. Better? Better.
And you first kill a child gripping candy and wearing a sweatshirt because -- egads! -- he's coming to get you. Then, in an incredible moment of the Florida justice system acting like the Florida justice system, you beat the murder rap.
Then -- because where else could you possibly go on this Earth? -- you go to Texas. And -- because what else could you possibly do in Texas -- you drive really, really fast while there are guns in the car.
But are there are enough guns? you wonder. No, there aren't, you think. Because you're George Zimmerman, and your truck doesn't yet have TACTICAL WEAPONS.
So, TMZ reports, you come back to Florida and on Thursday go to this place:
It's a gun manufacturer called Kel-Tec in Cocoa that's "firmly committed to the development and production of original, unique, high-performance fire arms," according to its website.
Inside they have all sorts of goodies. They have nearly ten high-powered rifles. They have seven very fancy-looking pistols, including this very strange-looking weapon, which appears to be for hunting Martians.
But because you're George Zimmerman, you don't play like that. Kel-Tec has only one shotgun, and you want it -- though it's unclear, TMZ says, whether you do eventually purchase it.
And that gun, called the KSG (Kel-Tec Shotgun), is apparently Kel-Tec's "first entry into the shotgun market," its website reports. It weighs only seven pounds and holds an "impressive" 12 rounds of "12 gauge 3" rounds in total. It also "reliably" shoots shells as short as one inch.
Hooray! you think, touring the grounds for hours, according to TMZ. And then you leave. Because you're George Zimmerman. And this is Florida.
Calls by New Times to Kel-Tec weren't immediately returned.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.