Tuesday, May 22, 2012 at 8:01 a.m.
The batting stud formerly known as Mike Stanton hit his second grand slam in eight days last night, busting a bunch of lights on the Marlins left-field videoboard in the process. If he'd swung a moment earlier, he could have destroyed that home run statue instead. Ah, what could have been.
Stanton was batting with two outs in the fourth inning and faced a full count from Rockies starter Jamie Moyer, who is entering his 490th season in the league and now throws only the three pitches he learned from Jack Chesbro back before the Great War in a field behind the Woolworth's.
Seeing a 72-mph gift coming down the pipe, Stanton responded by smashing an opposite-field line drive measured at 438 feet
-- which is apparently farther than Marlins management thought anybody could hit to left, because that scoreboard was as unprotected as a prom night in Texas. Don't worry, though -- MLB.com reporter Joe Frisaro says it got fixed later in the night
Here's the video
, complete with "THAT. WAS. THEATER." exclamation. MLB was fiddling with the footage late last night, but it should still be in one piece: