Herman Cain "Won" the Debate, Sure -- but How Does His Pizza Taste?
Former Godfather's Pizza CEO and current Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain has been hailed in the media as the winner of Tuesday night's debate -- and as a likely frontrunner for the candidacy -- because he does nothing more than say "nine-nine-nine" and talk about "pivoting off the tax code." People like this because it is "simple."
Though the pizza is competent and workmanlike, I think that its saltiness and predictability suggest a lack of creativity on the part of Cain. If we're going to create jobs, we need out-of-the-box thinking to resolve the monetary and financial policies that have led to mass unemployment: Doughy salt licks smeared with tomato paste and venereally textured sausage chunks are hardly indicative of an innovative problem solver. Final verdict: Based on Cain's pizza, he doesn't get my vote.
If there was some sort of contract where we received pizza like a welfare program on a regular basis, I would cast my vote for Herman "Crusty" Cain.God bless America and its obesity problems.
Not particularly imaginative. Doughy and full of air. Chintzy on toppings. Salty. Assessing these qualities in a candidate, and the answer is no.That said, it's not a God-awful pie, it's just what you get at a gas station: below average.
No, I would not vote: Pizza's too salty, I take that to mean hecould be a salty kind of guy.
As a Republican, I would vote for Cain based on the terrible taste of the product marketed under the name "pizza." It reflects the core conservative values of efficiency and fiscal responsibility. The foreign taste and consistency of the cheese substitute really goes to show that these big spenders running their pizza joints with products like real cheese and meats are really detracting from the American business spirit. I'd even be so American as to eat 9-9-9 slices of the Godfather's product. Citizen Cain, you have my vote.
No. Because I vote along environmental lines. And I do not think that this pizza will ever biodegrade.
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