Hollywood Beach Is the Best Place on Earth, and Here's Why
Hollywood Beach is the best place on Earth. It's not even close. When you're walking around Hollywood Beach, you're walking on sunshine.
Sure, there are other places in Broward and all parts in between. By why the hell even bother?
If hitting up the beach to lie out, take in some sun, grab a slice, and have a drink or two is something you find awesome, then the debate is over.
Need more specifics? Pfft. Fine. Here now are the reasons Hollywood Beach is the best place on Earth:
10. The Weather, Bitches!
Look at that chart (click to enlarge). Sure, this is Florida, and it's gonna be warm and tropical pretty much all over the place. But if you've ever spent any time in Hollywood Beach, you know things are extra special tropical there. Maybe it's the sea breeze constantly wafting in from the ocean. Maybe it's the sand and sea. Maybe it's all the sexy. Whatever it is, the summers are hot, and the winters are mild at Hollywood Beach.
9. It's the Only Place on Earth Where You Can Ride a Segway Without Looking Like a Complete Asshole.
8. You Can Dance Under the Stars Here
The Hollywood Beach Theater is home to a stage where local bands play cover tunes and rock out in the open air. And it's here that you'll find the area's locals, gypsies, hippies, beach bums, and bar flies hanging out and dancing to a Springsteen hit. There's no pretense here. Just a place to get your crazy on and dance until you drop. Or until it's time to hit another bar. Or, you can sit and watch the band and get a glimpse of some seriously spacy folks getting their dance on.
7. So. Many. Bars.
Florida Launch vs. Chesapeake Bayhawks
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 7:00pm
Florida Launch vs. Charlotte Hounds
TicketsSat., Jul. 22, 7:00pm
Intl. Champions Cup pres. by Heineken: Paris Saint-Germain v Juventus
TicketsWed., Jul. 26, 8:30pm
EL CLASICO MIAMI: Real Madrid CF v. FC Barcelona
TicketsSat., Jul. 29, 7:30pm
Seriously. Walk down Hollywood Beach and try not to find a bar. They're everywhere. And the booze is cheap and flows generously. Hollywood Beach is the perfect place to get properly sloshed while watching the waves lap onto the shore.
6. Getting Around Is Pretty Easy
Places like Fort Lauderdale Beach and South Beach are cool for cruising around narrow blocks and jammed-up traffic while people look at your car and judge you. Hey, that might be your thing, if you're that insecure and narcissistic. But Hollywood Beach is built around the simple concept that people just want to go to the beach and do beachy things. Arrive, park, get out, lie down. Boom. There's always parking to be found with meters or garages. And while the Margaritaville construction is something of a pain in the ass at the moment, it's only going to bring more parking spaces in the future. Basically, in Hollywood Beach, there are no overly congested streets littered with hipsters on their scooters or douchebags in their convertibles.
5. No Annoying Ass Trends or Pretense Here
South Beach is trendy! Fort Lauderdale is spring breaky! Ooh, look at me with my mojito making a duckface for a selfie in front of the Clevelander! Fuck trendy. Screw pretensions. You want trendy, go to the Sawgrass Mills Mall, hit up the Nordstrom rack, and buy yourself a pair of chinos. Otherwise, who gives a shit? You come to Hollywood Beach to enjoy a day at the beach, chill, and look at pretty girls in bikinis on rollerblades. Sand, sun, wind, alcohol, swimming. That's all that we're about.
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