In Celebration of "Movember," the Five Greatest Local Mustaches

Bask in the 'stach of Schnellenberger.
Bask in the 'stach of Schnellenberger.
Flickr: egurnit

This week, Juice will be doing its part to raise awareness for the "Movember" festivities that begin next month. You can read about the charity here. The idea is to round up some sponsors among your family and friends who then subsidize your 'stache growth during November, with the proceeds going to prostate cancer.

Of course, the biggest obstacle to participation in this contest is a man's vanity. So each day this week I will unveil a local, ruggedly handsome mustache-wearer, each of whom proves that a little well-placed hair on the upper lip can make a powerful instrument of seduction.

We'll start our countdown at number five: legendary football coach Howard Schnellenberger.

Schnellenberger, of course, was the offensive coordinator for your 1972 undefeated Miami Dolphins. He coached the University of Miami to a national title in 1983. And he resurrected the Louisville football program in the early 1990s before settling in his current place as head coach at Florida Atlantic. He is 75 years old. His mustache is said to be at least 76.

Notice the density and thickness of the Schnellenberger 'stache. It's a powerful, confident manifestation of what could only be a powerful, confident man. That mustache can light up a room. If you happen to be at a party with black lighting, you'll be the most popular dancer. Finally, you just might get some acting parts that would have otherwise gone to Wilford Brimley, or a cat.

The only downside: You'll have to give up chocolate milk and every foamy drink on the Starbucks menu.

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