Is There a Duck Serial Killer in West Broward? Are Humans Next?
Oh, sure. It starts with ducks. Then it's cats, maybe a dog. Eventually, that loses its thrill and the sick bastard upgrades to humans. So we really have to catch the Miramar Duck Killer, who struck again yesterday.
From a statement released today by the Humane Society:
The second duck was found impaled by an arrow Thursday night and was taken to the Wildlife Care Center where he had to be euthanized due to the extent of his injuries. Several other Muscovy ducks have reportedly been killed in the same area in recent months, in Miramar and in other South Florida communities, including Coral Springs, Margate and North Lauderdale.
The society is dangling a $2,500 bounty, so here's hoping the killer has been bragging to his friends.
If that doesn't work, let's all keep an eye out. The killer should be conspicuous -- he's the guy rocking camo and gamboling through the park with his bow and arrow.
Once we catch him, I think the proper punishment is to be imprisoned with this ruthless Wilton Manors duck.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.