A few days ago, Jill Kelley's sister -- the one Charlie Crist most positively never ever dated -- retained celebrity attorney Gloria Allred for reasons unknown.
So, we decided to ask. Why did Natalie Khawam enlist someone so high-profile? Allred has represented Nicole Simpson's family against OJ, a Chicago woman alleging Herman Cain had fondled her, and another gal saying Arnold Schwarzenegger had sexually harassed her. Why did Khawam, who from all accounts played a minor role in the unfolding Washington scandal that's ensnared Gen. David Petraeus and Gen. John Allen, turn to Allred?
So we shot off an email to Allred, asking just that: "Is this related to what's happened with her sister and Governor Petraeus, or have you been retained to work on her divorce?"
In response, Khawam, a Tampa Bay socialite, wrote us a statement, affirming that she does, in fact, love math. And the strangeness unfurled from there.
She also played varsity tennis. Baking too is apparently her thing. (Kelley, meanwhile, prefers to sauté.)
Perhaps, we thought, we should go easy on Khawam. She has, after all, been in a harsh public spotlight since news emerged that Petraeus' mistress, Paula Broadwell, had threatened her sister.
But some things we cannot look past. Like her syntax. And her prose. It makes our heads hurt too badly.
But why describe it? We'll let Khawam do her own talking.
Statement of Natalie Khawam
My sister Jill and I aren't just twins, we're best friends -- we're literally inseparable.
During my darkest times, Jill held the light for me -- Jill is the kindest, most generous person I know. We played varsity tennis together. She played net and I served. We also played softball together. She was the catcher and I pitched.
We love to cook together. I usually bake and she likes to sauté. We used to study together. I loved math. She loved science and she excelled at chemistry.
We love to play piano and play chess and our children also love to play piano together, cook together and play sports with each other as well. Jill has loved and supported me through the years and I plan to love and support her unconditionally.
Amid all the piano-playing and baking, she also amassed a f**kload of debt. Last April, she went bankrupt, listing $3.2 million in unpaid debt. She also owes the Internal Revenue Service $53,000.
Oh, the intrigue!
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