Last Minute Christmas Gifts From South Florida Craigslist
daveynin via wikimedia commons
Welp, you done and did it again. Had that piggy bank all fat with money for the Christmas season, then made a couple ill advised trips to the bar and/or the race track, and now you're trying to scrape together some last minute, on-the-cheap Christmas gift ideas.
Don't fret. Here at New Times, we're experts in this category. Pro tip: some of the best finds are right there waiting for the savvy consumer . . . on Craigslist. True story. Take a peak at this list of gift ideas we've culled together from the online market place.
strong>Vintage mod Mink fur coat espresso color - $125>
Perfect Gift For: Mom.
Here's a pro tip: there are two places where you can score some fine quality but still classy furs: Craigslists and municipal police auctions. And hey, mom just might get lucky and find a ruby pinkie ring in the inside pocket? Or a crack rock -- extra gift!
Perfect Gift For: The high school guidance counselor in your life.
Nothing signals authority like a muzzle loader from 1777.
Perfect Gift For: That cute Starbucks barista who takes your hot coco order every morning.
Because remember that one time when she was asking if you needed extra room for soy milk that one Monday in March and you looked up and she looked up and you locked eyes and "Suspicious Minds" was playing on the Starbucks speakers and you were pretty sure she was doing that smiley eyes thing remember you remember that how could you forget that right right right.
Perfect Gift For: Your frugal Uncle Ed.
Everyone has that family member who can't resist a discount or deal . . . even if it means buying penis exploding pills online from someone in Dania Beach. "They work just as good as the original," seller claims.
Perfect Gift For: You, you deserve it.
After logging all those hours with family members, you might as well go ahead and treat yourself. Come on, you know you've had your eye on some ancient Japanese replica weaponry for awhile. Just make sure you wait until after the holidays. Don't want to go to Christmas dinner with weaponry nearby . . . too tempting.
Perfect Gift For: Your cousin Billy, the wannabe country singer.
Nothing like a little crotch bling to up somebody's honky tonk game. Extra points for the patriotism.
Follow Kyle Swenson on Twitter:
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.