Man Returns Used Enemas to Store; the Store Resells Them
A Jacksonville man was indicted on federal charges after he purchased a dozen enemas from a CVS store, used them, put them back into their boxes, resealed them, and brought them back to the store.
So. Many. Questions.
Oh, but that's not all.
Several of the used enemas were then resold to unsuspecting customers.
The Florida Department of Health tested the samples and found fecal matter in them.
Have a great lunch, you guys!
According to the indictment report, Ronald Eugene Robinson, 34, bought the enemas at his local CVS store on San Jose Boulevard in Jacksonville between April 10 and June 15.
After having used them, he allegedly put them back into their original packaging and took them back to the same store with the original receipts for a refund, claiming he hadn't used the products.
The store's staff eventually discovered that the products had been tampered with, probably because the packages looked like they had been pried open and then retaped. But mostly because the store probably smelled like shit.
Unfortunately, the discovery was made after at least 21 customers had bought the tainted products.
According to CVS spokesman Mike DeAngelis, the store contacted the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration as soon as the employes discovered the tampered-with enema packages.
Cops were able to track Robinson down via the credit card number he used to buy the enemas and his vehicle's tag number.
Robinson is facing up to ten years in prison and a $250,000 fine, according to prosecutors.
Robinson's ex-wife claims he had some drug problems but was shocked he would do such a thing.
She then probably wanted to add, "Then again, he shit all over my life, so why not do the same to others!"
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.
- Rick Scott Declares State of Emergency as Tropical Storm Erika Approaches
Fri., Sep. 4, 11:30am
Fri., Sep. 4, 6:35pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 11:30am
Sat., Sep. 5, 7:00pm
- Kim and Kanye Pastor Rich Wilkerson Debuting Reality-TV Show
- Study: Fort Lauderdale Worst City in America for College-Educated Women to Date (Best...