Marco Rubio Manages to Convince Hannity and Limbaugh to Support Immigration Proposal
Marco Rubio is using his Charisma Boy! powers to Jedi Mind Trick a couple of the most influential GOPer talking heads into actually accepting the liberal(ish) immigration plan he and his fellow senators are touting.
Most notably, Rubes convinced Fox News' Sean Hannity as well as radio nutter Rush Limbaugh -- which either shows Rubio's talent to reason with crazy people or proves that Hannity and Limbaugh will agree with anyone on anything as long as anyone and anything isn't Barack Obama.
Either way, a hardy terrorist fist-bump by us to Rubio is in order.
Rubio appeared on Hannity's program on Monday night to talk up the bill.
Sean had said Rubio's reform proposal had been the "most thoughtful bill that I have heard heretofore" and made it official via a news release and by using the word heretofore.
But on Monday, Hannity came at Rubio with a skeptical, not sure if vibe by by insinuating that the current proposal would be a virtual blanket amnesty.
But Rubio was quick and smooth and pointed out that this bill was different from the failed 2007 bill that aimed at comprehensive reform.
"In essence, we are not creating an incentive, and we are not rewarding it," Rubio said. "Because, quite frankly, for many of these people, they would have been better off doing it the right way."
Rubio then pulled the border security card by saying if measures for a more secure border were not put in place, it would make his support for the bill void.
Since Hannity is all about keeping
them dirty Mexicans terrorists from entering the U.S. via unsecured borders, this argument seemed to sway him.
Limbaugh was not as convinced. "We'll have to wait and see and find out," he railed Monday like an angry blowfish that just ran out of oxycodone. "But this is one of those, just keep plugging away, plugging away, plugging away until you finally beat down the opposition."
But when he spoke with Rubio directly on Tuesday, Rush was less bombastic and dickish about the whole thing.
"I thought it was critically important that we outline the key principles," Rubio told Rush, while adding he doesn't want the debate to be defined by Obama and the lefties.
Like the secure-border thing did with Hannity, that seemed to quell Rush into a tranquil haze of agreement.
"What you are doing is admirable and noteworthy," Rush said to Rubio.
By the power of Charisma Boy!
"There's a lot of work to be done here," Rubio said. "We're nowhere near the finish line. But it's important to outline our principles."
Rush ended his radio segment with Rubio by saying, "Is that a good guy or what, folks? Here is a guy who does not fear talk radio."
We tip our hat to Rubio for pulling this off.
It's both sad and crazy that a political party's decision on how to vote for an entire important, impacting law is in the hands of racist dipshits.
But mostly, it's crazy.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.