Marco Rubio Rejects His Own Immigration Proposal, Because of Barack Obama
Shining Beacon of Light Marco Rubio called President Obama's first draft on immigration reform "dead on arrival" yesterday, saying that the president's bill "repeats the failures of past legislation" and that the bill will die as soon as it enters the hallowed halls of Congress just like every past, present, or future bill presented by Obama because, Obama.
And yet, the Miami Herald is reporting that it has obtained three separate drafts of the Obamigration bill and discovered that many of the proposals in the president's plan are exactly the same as proposals Rubio has put forth.
"But only the good ones!" Rubio probably said.
An example! Both Charisma Boy and Barry Kenya support special "pathways to residency" for students and soldiers who were brought to the U.S. illegally when they were kids. It's pretty much the same stuff proposed in the DREAM Act.
But because it's Obama and this is just the way things work now, Rubio is all Ornery Pants McGee about it. So much so, he put out a news release to show just how ornery he is.
"It fails to follow through on previously broken promises to secure our borders," Rubio says in the statement. "[It] creates a special pathway that puts those who broke our immigration laws at an advantage over those who chose to do things the right way and come here legally, and does nothing to address guest workers or future flow, which serious immigration experts agree is critical to preventing future influxes of illegal immigrants."
Good one, Rubio!
Except that, NO.
Because, according to the Herald and USA Today, both who actually, you know, READ THE DAMNED THING:
"The plan wouldn't give illegal immigrants a chance to obtain citizenship before those who lawfully entered the country.
One of the draft bills, labeled "Title II Legalization," explicitly lists a section that says undocumented immigrants applying for legal residency must go to the "BACK OF THE LINE."
Of course, the rest of the GOPers hate the whole "pathway to citizenship for illegal immigrants" thing, which Rubio has said he supports. But he's the Shining Beacon of Light, and 2016 awaits, so who knows where he goes from here.
Of the two screw-ups Rubio has made in the last week, the water bottle thing will stand out (because it's funny, you see).
But going head-to-head with Obama and trying to look like the good guy in the immigration battle so that Hispanic voters won't ignore him and his GOPer buddies in 2016 is not looking like such a dynamite idea.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.