Florida Marlins club president David Samson says he expects the team would be selling out every game if it moves into a proposed new stadium in Little Havana in 2012. And with that statement, it became clear that the Florida Marlins club president David Samson is the baseball equivalent of an overly aggressive panhandler.
Now I wouldn't throw a legal term like that around lightly, so let's review here. The Marlins currently play in a stadium that can hold about 68,000 people, while the new stadium would hold just 37,000. They currently play in a stadium that's just south of the Broward County line, while soon we may be asked to head south on I-95 for games that start in rush hour, the driving equivalent of playing Russian roulette with a fully-loaded shotgun. With all that in mind, it's clear to me that Samson knows that we know his handout is really for beer money.
Voters in Miami-Dade will decide in a couple weeks whether they want to pay $515 million for the new stadium. They have to figure out if giving the panhandler the money will get him to go away, or if opening your wallet will just encourage the guy to keep bugging you. Personally, I'd roll up my windows and pretend I'm listening to the radio.
After the jump, could the Palm Beach Post really use the word "paleface" in a sentence? Yes, I'll tell you now that the answer is yes.
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Newspaper Columnist Ignores Labels Like 'Racist' to Report Fake News
Frank Cerabino is the Post's "humor" columnist, so he can apparently get away with using horribly offensive racial terms about Native Americans. How offensive? Well, in this column, he pretends to interview long-dead Seminole chief Osceola, and Cerabino explains to Osceola the whole deal with casinos on reservations. Osceola answers:
Do we get to scalp the palefaces who come?
When I pasted that line into my laptop, a little Microsoft Office paperclip popped up and asked "It looks like you're trying to write an overtly racist sentence. Can I help?" No, you can't, Mr. Microsoft paperclip. But what I'm hoping is that Cerabino and crazy David Samson can get together. Because I would drive south to Little Havana to see the Florida Palefaces, the cheapest and most overtly racist team in the league!