Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen Goes Two Games Before Offending Everybody

The Miami Marlins' season started Wednesday. By Sunday, news outlets across the country were writing about all the people calling for manager Ozzie Guillen's resignation.

The hubbub is over an article from Time magazine that quotes Guillen saying pretty much the one thing Miami public figures should be told not to say in their first weeks on the job: "I love Fidel Castro."

Somewhere, a web producer was cackling while picking out that paragraph for the preview. The rest of the quote makes the statement seem more stupid than inflammatory, though:

"I love Fidel Castro... You know why? Many people have tried to kill Fidel Castro in the last 60 years, yet that [SOB] is still there."

Well, there you go. Not so bad, right? He doesn't love Castro because of his oppressive policies or his imprisoning of dissidents or any of the other reasons normal people hate him. Ozzie Guillen loves Fidel Castro because he keeps not being dead.

The Marlins could have issued a statement that just said, "Our manager is a stupid person. Please ignore anything he says in news magazines; they only interview him because Kids Say the Darnedest Things got canceled," but instead they said something about how Fidel Castro is a bad person, then made Guillen call a news conference about it. The Miami Herald makes an attempt at quoting the Unintelligible Mess in a story posted yesterday:

"I'm against the way he [Castro] treats people and the way [he has treated] his country for a long time. I'm against that 100 percent...," he said. "The way this man [has been] treating people for the last 60 years."

Oh, good. Glad that's settled. Also, the Marlins lost in the bottom of the ninth yesterday, after which, it's presumed, Guillen got drunk.

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