Morning Juice: DCF Protects Children with Racists, State Beats Legion of Doom for Most Corrupt
The children of DCF.
DCF Managers Use Racial Slurs That You'll Need to Look Up
Employees at the Department of Children and Families office in Tallahassee apparently like to throw around racial insults. An internal DCF audit found that six employees, even supervisors, were throwing around words, like "the word 'N - - - -,' Niggardly, Niggets or Niggy's during a managers' meeting held in May 2008." We can all learn a lot from this DCF audit, including that Nigget is not, as I thought, a mini chicken McNugget but actually something much worse. Clearly, I shouldn't have named my new cockapoo Nigget.
If you're worried about that child of yours who was recently taken by DCF because of that thing you did that we won't talk about, well don't worry. DCF is conducting a "management review," which, I'm assuming here, will ensure that all DCF supervisors use racial slurs.
After the jump, more proof that Florida's government is No. 1. And by No. 1, I mean that we've got the most racial-slur hurling bribe-takers!
Florida No. 1 in Corruption, Bribe Awaiting Reader
The Department of Justice says Florida has the most corrupt government, helping us beat out Illinois, Louisiana, Uzbekistan, and the Legion of Doom. That's good news if you, like me, face a pesky disturbing the peace charge for supposedly riding someone's borrowed motorcycle through some bar. That reminds me to mention that if there are any government officials out there reading this, I would like to donate to your re-election campaign.
Crist's Beard Begins Life in Corrupt Government
Florida's new first lady has begun her official duties, which include lighting a menorah and reading Christmas stories to children. Your DCF-inspired racist child could be one of them, simply for a small donation to the Charlie Crist presidential Legion of Doom campaign.
Below is a short documentary that shows life inside the Florida House of Representatives, which, I had no idea, is shaped like a scrubbing bubble.
-- Eric Barton
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.