Morning Juice: Kids Forced to Buy Beer at Gas Stations, Rare Woman with Two Homes Found, Box Home Better Than Condo
Banned from Clubs, Kids Buy Beer Again in front of Hess
Palm Beach County has made it illegal for anybody under 21 to get into alcohol-serving night clubs. Now I know what you're probably saying, "Get your hands off my Bud Lite Lime, old man." But this new ordinance passed yesterday is actually good news for this, uh, friend of mine who makes some money on the side by hanging out in front of gas stations and selling beers to minors. Aw hell, I'll be at the Hess Station on Belvedere tonight from 5 to 7 p.m., kids.
After the jump, see what kind of home you can buy if you've got a second job as sweet as mine.
Woman Caught, Affordable Beach Home Available
A code enforcement officer found the Philadelphia woman who was accused of fleeing with her two children and then sleeping on the streets in Broward County. Cops say Tammy Kongkham and her daughters slept under a playset on Fort Lauderdale Beach and then in a cardboard box in Tamarac. Which, in this economy, is as close as anybody will get to owning two homes.
Florida Launch vs. Chesapeake Bayhawks
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 7:00pm
Florida Launch vs. Charlotte Hounds
TicketsSat., Jul. 22, 7:00pm
Intl. Champions Cup pres. by Heineken: Paris Saint-Germain v Juventus
TicketsWed., Jul. 26, 8:30pm
EL CLASICO MIAMI: Real Madrid CF v. FC Barcelona
TicketsSat., Jul. 29, 7:30pm
Thanks for the Condo Offer, But I'll Stay in this Box
Many people, it seems, don't want to own even one one home. Apparently, people who are inheriting condos don't want them because of the taxes, maintenance charges, extra keys, and confusing central air thermostats.
Sugar Land Makes Great Home for Homeless
There's good news for those of us who can't afford a home. The South Florida Water Management District has approved a billion-dollar deal to buy Everglades land from U.S. Sugar. I'm assuming here that this land will then be given to those of us who can't even afford a condo maintenance fee, so that we can pick a good spot to live under a playset. It's not as bad as it sounds living under a jungle gym, because it provides good access to children who need beer.
For kids who have managed to score some beer, this PSA below will help you learn how to avoid narcs posing as hot New Jersey women.
-- Eric Barton
Get the Things to Do Newsletter
Find out about upcoming events and special offers happening in South Florida.