Morning Juice: Psychic on Lam Totally Called It, Florida Stays Flaccid, Gay Chorus Twinkles
Psychic on the Lam Totally Called It
The Broward Sheriff's Office is on the hunt for Gina Marie Marks, a psychic who they say ripped off her clients by promising to cleanse their souls. First off, the last time I went to Gina Marie Marks for a soul cleansing, she totally called this! I mean, she didn't say specifically that deputies would be chasing her on fraud charges. What she technically said was that the minor charge I'm facing for streaking through the Galleria Mall will result in some community service hours involving an orange highway vest. But what she meant is that the BSO would someday hold a press conference to call her a fugitive!
Now, I know that I probably shouldn't have relied on Gina Marie Marks' psychic abilities after Bob Norman figured out two years ago that she's a huckster. But Gina Marie predicted that I would ignore that evidence, and then she really cleansed the crap out of my soul.
After the jump, is there something funny to you about the shape of Florida?
Florida Flaccid for Good Weather
With the entire country in a deep freeze yet South Florida still rather balmy, this causes a weather map phenomenon. Look closely at the Florida section of the map.
Doesn't it totally look like a flaccid, limp, downward-turned thumb? Which is completely inaccurate, because with this good weather we're facing, the thumb ought to be stiffly upright.
Gay Chorus Set to Expand, Twinkle
Speaking of being stiffly upright, the Palm Beach Post reports today that the "Miami Gay Men's Chorus sets it sights on expansion." There are lots of off-color jokes I could make that would connect well back to the previous off-color weather map joke previously mentioned in this blog post. But the truth is, the Miami Gay Men's Chorus does all the heavy lifting here with a show titled, "Miss Twinkleton's School for Sensitive Boys Presents The Nutcracker: Men In Tights." Thank you, Miami Gay Men's Chorus.
-- Eric Barton
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.