New Prancercise® Video Is Out, and It's Amazing
Illustration by Tim Gabor
Coral Springs' own Joanna Rohrback -- AKA the Prancercise® Lady -- is at it again. Her latest YouTube video features sweeping cinematography and is a wonderfully complex study on identity, relationships, and horses.
Or something like that.
Accompanied by a silent sidekick sporting what has to be the most tightly confined and uncomfortable private parts since David Blaine spent three hours, 42 minutes and 15 seconds encased in a block of ice, Rohrback takes you on a journey in her new video. Where that journey goes and why it happens? Who knows?
A lot of things remain unknown after viewing the video. Why is Joanna Rohrback speaking in rhymes? Is the pooping white horse at 3:29 a subtle statement on income inequality? Why, after watching, does one suddenly become consumed with a craving for Oreo cookies? And who -- just WHO, goddammit -- is that mysterious grinning man with the olive skin and zebra pants?
A disclaimer at the beginning of the video states that, "The photography showing Joanna Rohrback and any participants with her moving along side a horse are not a suggestion that anyone should try such an act, this could be a dangerous activity unless done with proper professional supervision and medical clearance, if necessary." (Though it says nothing about the sperm-murdering zebra tights prominently featured throughout the video.)
But the new video also brings with it more questions about its incredibly fascinating star: Joanna Rohrback. In a New Times feature in July 2013, we profiled the queen of Prancercise® and delved into the darker side of her YouTube fame.
Does this new video mean that the intensely private Rohrback is ready to (I'm sorry) get back on the horse? Was the taste of her creamy internet fame just too sweet to leave on the table? Or is her genuine love of Prancercise® fitness calling her back to the front page of YouTube like a soft siren song?
These are interesting questions. But we're guessing you won't be able tear your eyes away from this mysterious man long enough to care.
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