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Obama: "We Win Florida, We Win the Election"

Obama: "We Win Florida, We Win the Election"

President Obama was in Florida yesterday during a bus tour, hitting up Melbourne and West Palm Beach and inexplicably getting a bear hug from a pizza guy.

Obama spoke to roughly 6,000 people at the Palm Beach County Convention Center, telling them that if he can win Florida, he will win the election. He also reminded them about Bill Clinton's DNC speech.

"Somebody sent out a tweet: He needs to be made Secretary of Explaining Stuff," Obama said.

"I'm willing to do more with Republicans," Obama said. "I want to reform our tax code so it's simple and fair, but I also think it makes sense for folks like me to pay higher taxes on our income over $250,000 the same way Bill Clinton had when he was president. The same way he created 23 million new jobs and the biggest budget surplus in history."

Obama also visited Melbourne, where he brought the hammer down on Mitt Romney, saying that the Republican's budget plan is missing some math.

"President Clinton pointed out that the single biggest thing missing from my opponent's plan is arithmetic."

In his speeches, Obama brought up the latest study by liberal Center for American Progress Action Fund, a group that includes former Obama senior health-care adviser and Harvard economist David Cutler. The study says the Romney/Ryan plan would basically burn a hole in the pockets of future retirees.

Obama also made a stop at a Fort Piece pizza shop called Big Apple Pizza. There, he was greeted by the shop's overenthusiastic owner, Scott Van Duzer, who bear-hugged the president and lifted him off the ground.

Meanwhile, the Republicans tried to counter Obama's visit by sending former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton to speak in West Palm Beach. Which is pretty much like sending Charlie Brown to talk about the New York Yankees.

For starters, Grumpy McMustache told the Palm Beach Post that Obama doesn't deserve credit for killing Osama Bin Ladin.

"Osama bin Laden was killed while Obama was president but not because of it," Bolton said. "This was a long effort that really our military and intelligence can take credit for."

BECAUSE ONLY REPUBLICANS HAVE A MONOPOLY ON KILLING AMERICA'S ENEMIES, EVEN THOUGH WE HAD SEVERAL OPPORTUNITIES UNDER GEORGE W. BUSH TO KILL BIN LADEN AND DIDN'T GET IT DONE AND THEN SENT OUR ARMED FORCES OVER TO AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT COUNRY THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH 9/11 WHERE BIN LADIN WASN'T ACTUALLY HIDING AND KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE OVER THERE. WE SHOWED 'EM WHO'S BOSS! 'MURICA!!!

For his part, Obama just stated the facts:

"I said I'd end the war in Iraq, and I did," Obama said. "I said I'd begin bringing troops from Afghanistan, and we are. And while a new tower rises about the New York skyline, as we pause to remember those that were lost this coming Tuesday on September 11, we know that Al Qaeda is on the path to defeat and Osama bin Laden is dead."

* drops mic *


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