Paul Ryan Says Romney Presidency Will Rebuild NASA Without More Funding
Hey girl, my love will make you see stars...
Paul Ryan was in Florida over the weekend and revealed that Obama has ruined space exploration, just like he's ruined everything else. And so Ryan announced bold new changes that he and Mittington will implement to get NASA back on track -- because America is the greatest nation in all of outer space!
"He has put the space program on a path where we're conceding our position as the unequivocal leader in space," Ryan said during a town hall meeting in Orlando.
RoboRomney & Ry also released a policy paper on their plans to
build a Deathstar get NASA up and going again.
Of course, the Romney/Ryan space plan has no specifics on how exactly they plan to do this. But Obama is a space-hating Socialist Nazi Terrorist Coddler -- so that should be enough for you to be convinced.
The Romney/Ryan NASA policy paper, titled "Securing U.S. Leadership in Space," has lines of great-sounding rhetoric like:
"A strong and successful NASA does not require more funding, it needs clearer priorities," the paper reads. "Romney will ensure that NASA has practical and sustainable missions. There will be a balance of pragmatic and top-priority science with inspirational and groundbreaking exploration programs."
Space is totally an awesome place that we should keep sending astronauts to but without further funding because pffft... what, astronauts don't need to bring no cash with them in outer space... right?
The rest of the paper focuses on things like national security and space program and mutual cooperation:
"Romney is committed to a robust national security space program and will direct the development of capabilities that defend and increase the resilience of space assets"
Again, we have no specific plans on how to do this... but someone's gotta protect 'Murica from them space aliens. [makes laser gun with fingers *pew pew*]
The paper also talks about how Romney and Ryan will encourage space-based initiatives through private industry.
Hey, that sounds delightful. Except that, it's already being done.
The rest of "Securing U.S. Leadership in Space" spends its time saying things like, "A strong and successful NASA does not require more funding, it needs clearer priorities," without a single line about how these things will be done without more funding.
But that didn't stop Ryan from doubling down on yelling at the president during his speech for ruining our chances of getting back to the moon:
"Today, if we want to send an astronaut to the space station, we have to pay the Russians to take them there. China may someday be looking down on us from the moon. That is unacceptable."
COINCIDENTALLY enough, Ryan failed to mention his own role in killing NASA funding projects. Or how the Romney-Ryan budget would cut funding for space exploration programs by 19 percent.
Making shit up just be elected president has become the new final frontier.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.
- 27 Facts About New Miami Dolphins Head Coach Dan Campbell
Thu., Oct. 15, 7:00pm
Thu., Oct. 15, 7:30pm
Sat., Oct. 17, 12:00am
Sat., Oct. 17, 10:00am
- Sun-Sentinel to Make Employee Cutbacks
- Stabbing at Davie Group Home Again Highlights Lax Supervision