Master marathon runner Paul Ryan was in Tampa over the weekend where he jumped in on the President Obama Terrorist Coddling Weakness Apologizing Paloozafest 2012.
"If we project weakness, they come," Ryan said of those who would attack the United States. "If we are strong, our adversaries will not test us and our allies will respect us."
Seriously. Republicans do know Obama ordered Osama bin Ladin shot in the face with a giant machine gun, right? They do have the Internet, yes? They really need to look that up.
Florida Rep. Bill Young got the crowd worked up before P90Ryan came out to open his mouth hole and spray more crap on the crowd.
Young attacked Obama for staying on the campaign trail rather than taking time out to fully devote himself to handling the crisis. Because you just don't do other stuff when there's a crisis going on in the Middle East. You fly over there and shoot rockets at people. Didn't Obama watch Iron Man? Why isn't Obama Iron Man? THIS IS WHY THIS COUNTRY IS NO LONGER GREAT.
Attacking U.S. diplomatic missions, he said, is "the same as attacking the United States Capitol, because they are sovereign territory."
Said Young, "When Mitt Romney makes his first trip [to the Middle East], it will not be a trip of apology."
It'll be more like, "Holy shit there's a lot of sand here, huh?"
In his speech, Ryan said that the Fed's new effort to keep interest rates down by spending $40 billion a month to buy mortgage bonds will not provide the desired result and will melt everyone's faces off and bring about Armageddon just like the stimulus bill did.
"When they do this to our money it undermines the credibility of our money," said Ryan. "This may help big banks, it may help Wall Street, but it doesn't help the rest of us who worry about what it's going to cost to fill the gas tank, to cool the house in the summer and heat it in the winter, to buy food."
The rest of us white, rich, born-into-privileged-situation folk know what it's like not to have enough gas for our hover crafts, or cool our summer homes, or buy unicorn meat!
All in all, it seemed like a typical GOP speech. Rage against the President, use talking points like "sugar high" and "apologize to our enemies" and just spout out bullshit numbers that have no basis in reality in any way and still not give one single shred of something that looks like anything like a tangible plan to fix things.
Well played, P90X Boy. Well played.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!