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Ray Allen and Chris Bosh Combine Superpowers to Help Heat Take 2-0 Series Lead Over the Nets

Ray Allen and Chris Bosh Combine Superpowers to Help Heat Take 2-0 Series Lead Over the Nets

The Miami Heat took a 2-0 lead in its Eastern Conference semifinal matchup against Brooklyn on Thursday night, beating the Nets 94-82.

While there are plenty of game and series recaps to peruse, we at the Pulp like to dig deeper and get into some specific stuff you may or may not have noticed.

Come along with us throughout these playoffs while the Heat continues its quest for a three-peat, as we present to you a handful of things we learned from the games.

Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you'll just relive a cool moment. Either way, you'll be walking away from these posts having a life-altering experience.

LET'S DIVE IN!

Ray Allen and Chris Bosh Combine Superpowers to Help Heat Take 2-0 Series Lead Over the Nets

1. Ray Allen Has Yet Again Earned the Right to Have You STFU About Him Forevermore It wasn't enough that he single-handedly saved our asses from being sucked into the dulling pain that is losing the NBA Finals. It wasn't enough that his shot in Game 6 is forever enshrined as one of the all-time greatest shots in the history of the Finals or that GET THOSE FUCKING YELLOW ROPES OUTTA HERE is a rallying cry for awesomeness. Nope. Some of you still slandered Ray this year. Whenever he's fallen into a scoring slump or looked slow on defense or lost his three-point-shooting groove, some of you still complained and bitched and moaned. I know because I see you on Twitter.

Well, KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF, DICKBUCKETS!

Ray Allen is now and forevermore untouchable. Game 6 solidified that. But his 13 points and monster fourth quarter against the Nets in last night's victory was just a reminder. Jesus Saves. No blaspheme.

Not only did Ray hit timely threes and pretty floaters but he also hustled for rebounds, played defense, and outplayed his old Celtic teammates Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce in every facet.

So the Ray slandering ends here. ENOUGH, DAMN YOU.

2. LeBron James Had a Weird Overall Game Prior to Game 2, James said he saw triple teams constantly in the first game. He still managed to manacle the Nets' hopes of an upset to the back of a pickup and drove around town. But Game 2 was a little different. That is to say, LeBron was still awesome -- all things considered. But he was a little, I don't know... off?

The first half seemed like he was wading through mud. And he looked more interested in talking smack with Paul Pierce's pubey facial hair than he did playing basketball.

But then he finished the first half with four straight buckets, then hit a dagger three in the fourth and finished with 22 points and OK I'll shut up now.

Ray Allen and Chris Bosh Combine Superpowers to Help Heat Take 2-0 Series Lead Over the Nets

3. The Nets' Shaun Livingston Is That Annoying Guy Who Won't Let the Nets Die Before every series begins, it's always fun to try to pinpoint which of the opponent's nonstar players is going to annoy the shit out of us by pulling jumpers out of his ass and making our collective asses pucker up like we just shoved a lemon up it. For the Nets, that guy is Shaun Livingston. Some would say it's probably Mirza Teletovic and his lethal Bosnian three-pointers. But Livingston is more exasperating. He hits jumpers, plays with energy, and has the kind of length that bothers people.

He also looks like he wears a zoot suit whenever he goes out.

Livingston scored 15 against the Heat, most of those points coming during a frustrating first half. Luckily, things slowed down for him, and he came back down to Earth.

He then hit up the South Beach clubs in his best zoot suit.

Ray Allen and Chris Bosh Combine Superpowers to Help Heat Take 2-0 Series Lead Over the Nets

4. Chris Bosh Is Quietly Bringing the Ruckus Bosh was mostly invisible in the first half of Game 1. But since then, he's been the most consistent of the Big Three against a Nets team whose sole strategic maneuvering seems to be to drag these games down into the muck.

Bosh treated Game 2 like a velociraptor devouring its prey and then making a silly face at the camera. He hit threes, swatted shots, grabbed rebounds, and generally imposed his will upon all of New York like an angry Godzilla who demands a Frosty immediately.

Bosh finished the game with 18 points on 7-for-13 shooting and set the tone defensively in the first half. If not for Bosh letting out his dinoawesomeness, the Nets just might have pulled away in the first half and left us all feeling sad and pitiful today.

5. LeBron Is Undefeated Whenever His Team Takes a 2-0 Series Lead Ever since he was demolishing NBA ass with Cleveland, LeBron has been a closer. The man has never lost a series when his team wins the first two games of said series, which speaks of his amazeballness as it does his ability to lay down some Old Testament-like justice upon his enemies without mercy.

With Cleveland, he was 6-0 when the Cavs took a 2-0 lead. With the Heat, he's also 6-0.

After Thursday night, the Heat are up on the Nets 2-0.

IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE IN THE MATH.

Game 3 is in New Jersey Brooklyn on Saturday. Tip-off is at 8 p.m.

Send your story tips to the author, Chris Joseph. Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter




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