Rep. Alan Grayson Tells Congress They're Less Popular Than Dog Feces and Hemorrhoids
With the government shutdown entering a full week and no end in sight, Americans' already unpopular view of Congress is reaching ludicrous speed.
Florida Rep. Alan Grayson took to the floor Wednesday to introduce a resolution declaring the government shutdown a "mark upon the dignity of the House" by asserting privilege 9 and reading off a recent Public Policy Polling survey that shows what Americans really think of Congress.
Namely that we all think Congress is far less appealing than zombies, cockroaches, toenail fungus, hemorrhoids, and dog poop.
Sounds about right.
"What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or witches? Congress, 32 percent; witches, 46 percent," Grayson says, reading off the poll numbers. "What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or hemorrhoids? Congress, 31 percent; hemorrhoids, 53 percent. What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or dog poop? Congress 40 percent; dog poop 47 percent."
Of course, Speaker pro tempore Steve Womack (R-AR) was none too thrilled over Grayson's pointing out that people prefer dog feces over Congress and that this was not the proper way of expressing why this resolution was privileged under rule 9.
Never mind the fact that the GOPers never hesitate to grind government to a halt with a 20-hour filibuster every time the president does something that makes them grumpy or the fact that the Republicans are now holding the entire nation hostage in the largest hissy fit in the history of America.
A poll where actual Americans say they prefer having a fiery hot itch in their buttholes over Congress is where the line is drawn, gentleman from Florida!
So Womack kept banging his gavel and interrupting Grayson and telling him to get to the point, failing to see that the survey's finding was the point.
Grayson wasn't allowed to finish his argument and never got his vote. Because only GOPer congressmen are allowed to say ridiculous things.
But let it be known that the fact that dog poo is better than Congress is now forever in the congressional record for historians to ponder over for centuries to come.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.
- Live Blog: Presidential Candidates in Fort Lauderdale
Sun., Aug. 2, 1:05pm
Tue., Aug. 4, 6:35pm
Wed., Aug. 5, 6:35pm
Thu., Aug. 6, 6:35pm
- Presidential Hopefuls in Fort Lauderdale Today; Meet the Underdogs
- Like Humans of New York, Blog Profiles Ordinary Broward County Residents