Republicans Already Using Hurricane Sandy as an Excuse in Case Romney Loses
Looks like the GOPers are all ready to go with their postelection TALKING POINT in case their robot Mitt Romney should lose the election.
Because the Benghazi SuperSecret Governmental Conspiracy Coverup of the 22nd Century thing hasn't worked and because Romney's supposed momentum has slowed some (MITTMENTUM!) and because every bad thing is always Obummer's fault, they're ready to plug in and start cranking the excuse machine should the election go to the Kenyan Muslim Nazi Commie.
Hurricane Sandy. They're going to say Obama won because of Hurricane Sandy.
And how will they prove this? With absolutely no data or real tangible proof, of course!
Quick Robin! TO THE BULLSHIT CAVE!
Over the weekend, James Bond henchman Karl Rove told the Washington Post that Sandy is the October surprise everyone always talks about but never actually expects to happen.
"Obama has temporarily been a bipartisan figure this week. He has been the comforter-in-chief and that helps," Rove said. The slight disadvantage for Obama, Rove said, "is that people in Eastern coastal communities are going to be preoccupied by issues of getting food to eat and having a roof over their heads; some of them won't be thinking as much about the election."
Obama is the comforter-in-chief, as opposed to George W. Bush, who was the fly-in-an-airplane-staring-down-at-people-trapped-in-their-flooded-homes-and-being-crazy-slow-with-recovery-in-chief.
On CNN's State of the Union Sunday, former Mississippi Gov. and RNC Chairman Haley Barbour said Sandy came and broke the Mittmentum right in twine.
"The hurricane is what broke Romney's momentum. I don't think there's any question about it. What happened was the news media absolutely blacked out any coverage of the issues."
People were all WHOA ROMNEY IS AWESOME, but then the hurricane hit and people were like WHOA, STORM! and then Romney's momentum stopped because people were like WHOA... WAIT WHAT WERE THE ISSUES IN THE ELECTION AGAIN? I CAN'T REMEMBER BECAUSE OF STORM.
Even some in Romney's campaign are blaming Sandy on Romney losing steam.
"Any day that the news media is not talking about jobs and the economy, taxes and the economy, deficits and debt, Obamacare and energy is a good day for Barack Obama."
That's right, America. Republicans picture all of us as the dog from UP.
But is it true? Did Sandy totally ruin it for Romney?
Of course it did. Except that no, it didn't.
Polls began to stabilize in mid-October, weeks before Sandy hit.
BUT WHAT ELSE COULD EXPLAIN THE MITTMENTUM SPLOSION?
Couldn't be Obama's last two debate performances.
Couldn't be a dissipation of Romnon's momentum after the first debate.
Couldn't be the president's rising approval ratings.
Couldn't be the positive jobs reports.
Couldn't be that people legitimately favor Obama over Romney, because that's basically what elections are.
Couldn't be Romney's lack of a real plan besides his arbitrary "FIVE POINTS PLAN" that pretty much every economist says makes no goddamned sense.
Couldn't be any of those things.
Of COURSE Obama's possible victory will be due to a hurricane and not at all because the majority of Americans think Obama would make a better president than Romney.
That would be preposterous!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.
- MTV Casting for Show True Life: I'm Addicted to Flakka
- Again, Spray-Painters Deface Signs on Hollywood Streets Named for Confederate Leaders
- Schlitterbahn Owner: I'm Psyched to Build Waterpark in Fort Lauderdale