Rick Scott Asks Court to Please Let Him Drug-Test State Workers
Rick Scott really, really, still very much wants people to pee into a cup randomly if he's going to give them financial help or let government workers keep getting a paycheck.
Last month, the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta unanimously ruled that an earlier ruling by a lower court to stop Scott's drug-test-all-the-welfare-people was all good.
Turns out, asking random people to pee in a cup for no reason whatsoever is kind of an invasion of privacy.
But on Friday, The Rick sent his lawyers to get the court to let them drug-test state workers.
Fine. No testing the poors. BUT I WILL HAVE SOMEONE'S PISS ON MY DESK, BY JOVE.
On Friday, Scott's lawyers asked the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to reinstate the executive order to administer drug tests on state workers -- about 85,000 of them.
Because it's all about protecting public safety as well as boosting worker productivity, according to them.
The court originally ruled this was an unreasonable search, because, well, it is.
Randomly drug-testing a person is pretty much a violation of the Fourth Amendment, because making someone take a test must come from a suspicion of wrongdoing.
But the Fourth Amendment is very sketchy and befuddling. UNLIKE THAT SECOND AMENDMENT WHICH IS VERY CLEARRR.
The judges gave no immediate ruling Friday morning but suggested that the case might be sent back because the appeal is too broad. Sure, some should be tested, like police officers and other workers who need to use weapons and things of this nature.
But other state workers? Yeah, no.
But Rick and his gaggle of lawyers will certainly keep at it.
Funnily enough, the Supreme Court ruled a while back that randomly making a politician take a drug test is unconstitutional.
But the lady who takes your picture at the driver's license office taking a random drug test should totally be the law.
And then Rick wonders why his approval ratings are so piss-poor.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.