Rick Scott: State Workers to Get Christmas Eve Off
Apparently nobody trolls Rick Scott quite like... Rick Scott.
Now, Scott is revealing that the gnarled charred piece of volcanic rock that is lodged between his lungs inside his chest is actually a real human heart and has announced that state workers will be allowed to take Christmas Eve off with pay.
Ah, what tumbling approval ratings can do to the Christmas spirit!
Scott has directed executive agencies to shut down on Monday, December 24.
Employees had been scheduled to come back to work for one day, and then had to go back to work the next. Instead, they'll get a four-day weekend to enjoy with family and friends this holiday season.
Workers who perform essential functions will still have to work, but they'll get an equal amount of paid administrative leave to use in the next six months.
In a statement written to state employees, Scott says: "In recognition and sincere thanks for your dedication, I have directed the secretary of the Department of Management Services to close all state executive buildings on December 24, 2012."
The directive comes after state rep. Michelle Rehwinkel Vasilinda wrote Scott a letter on November 21 asking him to close state offices on both Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve.
Christmas and New Year's Day both fall on Tuesdays this year. Which is kind of a bummer.
That means Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve are both on a Monday, which is kind of awesome.
Getting those days off gives state employees a four-day weekend. Rehwinkel Vasilinda says state workers would take those days off with earned administrative leave. So, she figured, why not give everyone the time off, shut down the buildings, and reap the savings?
Days off and save taxpayer money -- PARRATTAYYY!
Rehwinkel Vasilinda requested two days off. She says she's glad state workers got the one.
"You ask for a pony and get a kitten for Christmas," she told Tallahassee.com.
And then Rick Scott takes the kitten and eats it.
He actually ate the pony.
OK, we'll stop.
Well done, Guv!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.