Just three weeks into the season, and the Miami Dolphins are beginning to crack at the seams. Mainly because head coach Joe Philbin doesn't know how to lead properly. Yep, the man who had no idea some coaches and players he's supposed to be in charge of were bullying another player last year is once again losing his team. Shocking.
Coming off an embarrassing loss at home to a talent-depleted Kansas City Chiefs, Philbin has seemingly made things worse when he refused to openly commit to quarterback Ryan Tannehill earlier this week.
Now, Tannehill isn't off to the greatest of starts this season. And the jury is still very much out on whether or not he's the answer to the Dolphins' decades-long franchise quarterback drought.
Still, when the young quarterback -- and this franchise -- needed leadership, Philbin floundered and, an inept moment that was supposed to show what a take-charge-I-call-the-shots guy he is, turned into Philbin walking up to a burning house and trying to put out the fire by pissing on it.
See also: Eight Types of Miami Dolphins Fans
The worst kind of controversy a team can have -- aside from one where one player texts another player that he wants to bang his sister -- is a quarterback controversy.
Yet somehow, Philbin bumbled his way around and conjured up something worse: the meaningless quarterback controversy.
Following the 34-15 loss to the Chiefs, some fans began clamoring for backup Matt Moore to start. Moore, a career backup player, is not good. Not even by a long shot. His last time on the field, the Dolphins lost 19-0.
But during Philbin's post-game press conference on Monday, he exasperated this ridiculous idea by straight-up not answering direct questions about the quarterback situation.
When asked about the QB, Philbin kept dancing around it, saying he'll take the best 46 players to London, where the Dolphins will be playing the Raiders this week which, in and of itself is patently absurd because THEY HAVE TO TAKE 46 PLAYERS ANYWAY.
When asked directly about if Moore will compete with Tannehill leading up to Sunday's game, Philbin laughed off the question and told the reporter to stop being silly.
Just kidding. He made things worse.
The Palm Beach Post reported that Philbin answered, "We'll utilize the players the best way we see fit."
A reporter followed up, correctly pointing out that that kind of answer doesn't exactly endorse Tannehill and could stir up issues.
"That's my answer I'm sticking to it," Philbin replied.
When asked point blank if Tannehill would be the starter this week, Philbin said, " We'll decide our game plan before we leave to play Oakland."
This was Philbin's solution to helping his struggling young quarterback and appease a rabid fanbase that isn't thinking clearly (really, Dolphins fans? Matt Moore?). To be completely vague on whether or not Tannehill is the starter, and be ludicrously defiant about it at that.
There's really no telling what Philbin was thinking on Monday with these comments, other than maybe he really doesn't like Tannehill either. And that's his right. He's the head coach.
But here's the thing: Matt Moore took zero snaps with the first team this week, which means Tannehill was slated to be the starter all along anyway. So, why in the ever living shit would Philbin not just give a direct answer?
Because he's a mongoloid that looks more like a Scooby Doo villain than an NFL head coach.
This is the same guy whose solution to the bullying scandal last year was to have bed checks every night during training camp, where he'd basically tuck in each player before they went to sleep like a creepy Boy Scout leader. In his first year, when the Dolphins were featured on HBO's Hard Knocks, Philbin deservedly caught flack from fans when his highlight reel was basically him yelling at random people to not leave candy wrappers on the floor.
Somehow a middle school vice principal is leading the Miami Dolphins.
And now, just days before their game, Tannehill has publicly come out and said Philbin handled this thing all wrong.
"Obviously, it doesn't feel good," Tannehill told reporters Wednesday.
When asked about what he thought of his playing status, Tannehill defiantly answered, "I'm taking the first snap in the game."
He added, "It creates a bunch of stir and a bunch of distraction in the locker room, mostly from the outside coming in and just guys having to deal with the distraction of it. So it's not a good feeling but he's been clear with me and I know where I stand."
Philbin could have simply told the media the truth: Yes, Tannehill has had a rough start, but he's our guy until I say so.
Instead, he chose to clumsily play the Bill Belichickian role of mystery tough guy who runs a tight ship and created a controversy and distraction and pissed off his quarterback in the process.
This is the guy Stephen Ross decided to hire to lead the franchise to the promised land.
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