Sharks Realize Palm Beach Swimmers Aren't Going Into the Water, Move Back
Yesterday we told you about how blacktip and spinner sharks wanted to get in on that sweet spring break action up in Palm Beach, and migrated to Midtown Beach by the thousands.
They were spotted just feet away from the shore, riding waves, looking for food, and high-fiving each other because the weather was so awesome.
But now, there's been an update.
And the update is basically that Palm Beach County beaches remain open, because the sharks are not close to the shore anymore.
IT'S A TRAP!
Around 50 or 60 sharks were spotted near the shore on Tuesday by lifeguard Craig Pollock.
Which is it, Pollock? 50 or 60? It's important to be accurate when man eating animals are swimming underneath us!
We kid, of course.
Sharks hate people meat. But some of them don't know that they hate people meat, so they might want to try some. And that's where officials get all nervous and decide to close the beach to swimmers.
Sure, science tells it's more because sometimes -- not very often -- sharks think people are fish and take a bite.
Pfft. Whatever, science.
Anyway, the Palm Beach Post tells us that Steve Kaes, the training officer for the south district of county lifeguards, has so far seen no sharks Thursday.
The main problem is that the sharks were spotted as far as 10 feet off the shore earlier this week. But they seem to be on to us closing the beaches, and have decided to back off a little.
So, hey, go swimming.
As we pointed out yesterday, the sharks hanging around Palm Beach are really good at not only riding waves, but also jumping really high, which is totally rad and totally terrifying at the same time.
Either way, the beaches are open. So, enjoy that swim. And remember, if a shark leaps out of the water near you, be sure to yell out, "I'M NOT FISH! I'M PEOPLE!"
The shark will then simply give you a fist-bump and move along, we're sure.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.