The mystery of who toiled papered Bernie Madoff's Palm Beach home has been solved. Two teenagers from Michigan have been fingered as the TP culprits. The kids apparently bragged to
their friends after they got back from vacation, which then tipped off the Palm Beach police, according to this story in the Detroit News.
Now I'm all for witnesses going to the cops in the unlikely event of a shooting, stabbing, or an airplane landing at sea. But ratting on your buddies for toilet papering the home of a dude who stole their trust funds? It's a sad state when kids from a Detroit suburb haven't learned anything from hip-hop about the need to Stop Snitchin'.
After the jump, the newest way to conceal your toilet paper in Palm Beach is in counterfeit purses!
Bogus Purses Found in Palm Beach, Shoes Go Unmatched
U.S. Customs agents seized 4,805 counterfeit purses, wallets, and backpacks in Palm Beach. The shipment came from China and was on the way to the Bahamas. It's easy to see the phrase "counterfeit purse" and think, "Is there one that matches my favorite chartreuse shoes?" But the head U.S. Customs agent warns:
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In some cases a counterfeit item that does not meet the manufacturer's specifications can even threaten the health or safety of a consumer.
I can attest to that, because the guy who sold me this "Dall" brand laptop computer never warned me that the keyboard would give me Chinese salmonella.
Guy Who Taught You to Play Recorder Now Conservative Big-Shot
Florida Atlantic grad Arthur Brooks has been named to head the American Enterprise Institute, one of the nation's most important conservative groups. Brooks is a former pro French horn player who taught music in Boca Raton, proving finally that the conservative movement has become so depleted that one of its top leaders is a former music teacher from Boca Raton. Let's hope Brooks' first act as head of the institute is to study Detroit suburban children and their propensity for snitchin'.