Someone, or Something, Is Cutting Cats in Half in Central Florida
Luis García via Wikimedia Commons
It's one thing to lose your beloved cat. It's another to find Fluffy in a state of... uh... incompletion.
Up in Central Florida, one neighborhood is being rocked by a spree of dismembered animals. And you know how the old saying goes: One cat cut in half is just bad luck. Two cats cut in half, well, that's a sign of Satan worshipers urging on the zombie apocalypse the next time Mercury is in retrograde.
Lea Ellen DeWitt is the unfortunate cat owner. She lives in Lakeland, and according to WFLA, she recently found her cat cut in half.
"There was no hair, there was no blood, there were no guts," she told the station.
"It was just the front half of the cat."
Weirdly, the owner says that the cuts on the cat were not jagged, as if done by a wild animal, but clean, as if done by... surgical equipment? DeWitt says she is also missing two other felines, fates unknown.
Not all that weird on its own, but another family down the street also reported that it found its cat mutilated in the same way.
So, is cat mutilation a real thing? Or just a series of coincidences that people get all worked up about? In Florida, it happens pretty regularly.
Broward had a rash of cat killings around 2009, the handiwork of bored teens. Back in September 2011, two cats were found cut in half in Naples. In 2012, a cat was found in the same condition in Port Orange. Back in the late '80s, there was something of a mutilated cat boom in California, New Jersey, and Florida.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.